my right eye continues to be weird, meaning that it kinda hurts still and it just feels weird, and it's extremely blurry. i decided tonight that my sight has definitely decreased in that eye, which scares me because it's my good eye. i made nate examine it today because i figured he wouldn't be grossed out by it, and i can't look at it myself. i tried to take a picture but it didn't work. he said there's a bump and some blood vessel stuff going on. a bump? that's not good. i guess i'll call tomorrow. i really hope they'll go "hey, it's perfectly fine and will go away by itself" because i don't want to drive to edina again and miss 2 hours of work.

 

what else is going on...been doing some sewing/crafting for my halloween costume. i have a bad sewing machine, and i really want a nice one. i feel it would increase my quality of life. maybe i'll ask for one for christmas or my birthday. that's not a bad thing to ask for, since my parents are always bugging me to think of things i need. the one i have really is almost not even worth using. that sentence is very weird but i kind of like it. i'm definitely hand sewing certain parts of it - no way i trust the machine. but i'm making this very long gold sash thing that would take me about 87 years if i tried to do it by hand. anyway........

 

i've been frustrated with work lately. i hope it's just a phase, but i'm kind of bored with what i do every day, and frustrated with different office situations, etc. i did become a problem-solving hero today thrice, though. it's always nice being the person who can do it at the end of a long chain of people who can't.

 

tomorrow's kitty's 6 month anniversary! (and also his 4.5 birthday - i made his birthday april 16 since nobody knew) we'll celebrate if he wakes me up no more than 1 time tonight.

There it is

I think I've regressed into an anti-blog phase. My blog writing is like a sine wave, alternating between lots of writing, very little writing, and just the right amount of writing. I guess lately I've been thinking a lot (brain's definitely working overtime, sorry for the cliche), having fun with friends, and living in a very messy apartment with a noisy cat (next week I'll have had him for 6 months!). My eyes are doing really well as of today. I'd say the turning point was this morning. Finally I woke up in the morning and my eyes didn't hurt. They hurt a tiny bit in the day, but nothing bad. They are also almost not red at all. I still have to take antibiotic eyedrops for a seemingly endless amount of time. I read on the insert the other day that the eyedrops "probably inhibit healing". I keep joking that my doctor must have Munchausen syndrome by proxy. I love anytime I can fit that illness into a conversation. I think it's one of the most interesting illnesses that exist. Besides that, though, "probably inhibit healing"? Don't you think that on a prescription medication insert they'd know for sure? Oh well. I had an ultimate shit day on Sunday, and Monday was pretty bad as well. But, today was wonderful. Not quite sure why. I was listening to a song today that had a lyric that stuck with me: "We are only one argument from death" - don't know why it stuck with me, but it must mean something somewhere. The song is called "The Sun Also Sets" (Ryan Adams) - I must have listened to it 27 times this afternoon. I have pictures in my mind for everything, and songs are no exception - this one's a mountainous landscape, and as you listen you're going over hundreds of hills and mountains and discovering all kinds of surprises each time you get to the top and look down. A lot of RA songs are like that, I guess, but this one's especially sparkly. For a long time I've wanted to do some kind of art thing about OK Computer because I have extremely vivid pictures about every single song on that. However, I seriously doubt I could get anything out of my brain that was in any way similar to what's inside. Oh well.

 

I've spent way too much time in my own head lately. I think it probably contributed a lot to my bad mood on Sunday and Monday. It was good to go to work today to focus on something else for once.