ever feel like curling up into a ball and dying?

i feel like that right now. the times have passed where i could be up until 2 and feel ok. the stupid part is that i got up at 9:30, so really, i had almost 8 hours of sleep. but i feel terrible!!! i really am pathetic.

 

i got giant commendations yesterday and today. both days i had to do "Hey, Trouble"'s work because he was out sick. So that doubled my load already. Yesterday I had to finish two big projects that I suddenly found out were due yesterday. Then, today I had to finish two more projects, one that was due ASAP and one that was due tomorrow. On top of that, I have an old project of his and multiple old ones of mine, and a standing project that was supposed to be done today which in no way will be.

 

Anyway I overheard my manager talking to the Project Manager that I work with pretty often and they were saying that I was doing a really good job and they felt bad that I had to do Pat's stuff along with mine, even though I was handling it well.

 

Then today after I finished my next two things I emailed two people, one of who is this notoriously difficult woman who i have mentioned before. I generally get along ok with her because it's hard to get me really upset. She has gotten me upset a couple of times, but it didn't last long. Anyway, she wrote an email to our boss, the director of IT (the main boss!) and said this:

 

I have to tell you how great Elizabeth is.  I am always impressed when I she works on my accounts like Coldwell Banker.  She is very thorough, goes above and beyond, and just does a spectacular job!  And always very helpful!

 

Hehehehe!!! Yay! And then our boss/director wrote to me: "Great job Elizabeth!" Yay! A nice word from a really difficult person! Besides that, the project manager has been heaping on praises and saying I'm so great for dealing with her freaking out all the time, to which I say that I'm pretty laid back.

 

It's so funny. I feel as if I'm doing a pretty normal job, it's not like I'm busting my ass or anything. I meet deadlines, I am being myself, I try to do things well, and I am generally friendly. Which I think should be normal. But people recently have been freaking out like nobody is ever this friendly or diligent at work. It's weird.

I did it

Now I can't remember if I said my name or not...I don't think I did!...but I made the call, and now I'm going to take a shower and go to work.

What is wrong with me?

Despite the fact that I have to pee?

Notice the time? 12:58 AM? This is because I attempted to go to sleep and could not. i'm so nervous i'm shaking and feel like i'm going to vomit. this is just ridiculous so i just have to do it now.

i don't know if i can do this, i don't know if i can do this, i don't know if i can do this
i don't know if i can do this, i don't know if i can do this, i don't know if i can do this

I HATE MYSELF! it is now 1:40. all i have been doing is sitting here worrying. i think that currently i'm one of the most pathetic persons on earth. i am now going back to bed.

I need a new hairstyle

I don't mean haircut, I just mean I need a new way to put my hair up on a daily basis. It's become way too long to do my characteristic bun. If I do that, it has like 8 inches of hair still left over hanging down, which I think looks stupid. Jesus! I just did a double bun and there is still 6 inches hanging down. I think I did it wrong. Oh, screw it. I think I might resort to using the twisty bun more often, even though with that my hair sticks way out because the hairbands are small.

I have been noticing lately that my scalp has been extremely dry. So the other day I was looking for some kind of scalp lotion or something. What I ended up getting was this extreme conditioner stuff that is the consistency of, let's say, thick lotion. It makes my hair feel soooo nice. And my scalp is less dry, although not completely healed. I didn't really expect to have immediate results for that. But anyway, I think it's making my hair feel better than I can ever remember it. And I'm using this Pantene blond expressions shampoo/conditioner and it is making the color really bright. Ahh, how nice.

I navigated to the skype page and almost began to cry. At that, I made a decision. I will wake up in the middle of the night when I am too drowsy to really be that nervous, get the task over with, and then go back to bed. I think that's the best way to do it.

nervous

i'm really nervous about this skype thing. ahhh! i can't believe i waited until the very last day. i'm such a tool. and i'm even more of a tool because i am so nervous about it. boo.

beautiful people

i've been noticing lately that i think every person has moments where they are just absolutely beautiful. for instance, i was watching stargate, and i know i'm always saying daniel is cute, but there was this moment when i thought, his face is literally perfect at this moment. it was unearthly. with him though, he was a model, and he's an actor, etc. but still. how can a person physically look like that? at that moment i was yelling at the television, "oh my god!!!"

then last night laura and michael were here and we were watching a jeff buckley dvd and there was a moment where i thought the same about him. then we were at a timberwolves game today and i spotted this person on the jumbo-tron and thought the same thing.

i think it must occur to me because i'm eyeing these particular people really closely on a screen of some sort. i haven't thought about it in real life.

david cross is on subterranean and all he reminds me of is stupid TOM because TOM LOVES HIM. >:( does anyone remember that time when i doctored an image of david cross so that he had a shirt on that said "tom is cool"? or something like that. i bet i still have it somewhere.

i'm disliking a lot of stuff on the show tonight. such as beth orton--not for me at all. liked the sigur ros, of course. oh god, i really don't want to do that skype thing. wah!

hello, private eye

My sister wrote in her blog that my mom's boyfriend paid a detective to look into everyone's private lives. 1) I don't know if that's true. 2) WE should be the ones prying into HIS life. 3) If he/she is reading this, then yes, it's true, we all hate him. My mother is completely biased toward him, though she knows nothing about him. All she knows and needs to know, for her purposes, is that he showers her with gifts.

My sister said my mom accused them of stealing makeup, jewelry, and a credit card. I'm wondering to myself, what the fuck is she on? In the past few years, has she actually been around my sisters? Does she know them at all? If she did, she would realize that my sisters are the absolute last people on earth who would ever steal anything, and besides that, they would be even less likely to steal from my mom, who scares the crap out of them. I HATE HER! Oh, sorry. I remembered one thing they do continually steal: her cigarettes. They steal them and throw them away so that she won't smoke them.

Cannot concentrate

My mind is like a total vacuum right now. There is nothing in it. And nothing will stay in it either. I also feel extremely on edge. It's probably mostly because I've been on the phone all damn day long. I have to say I did a good job, though.

 

As I told Sarah last night, a really cool thing happened the other day, which I will explain now. I have coworker who started at the same time as me, and consequently we're pretty similar work-wise and sort of stick together on a lot of things. I feel more comfortable asking her questions than other people, etc. She sits opposite me and we talk back and forth sometimes. Anyway, she was on hotline this week which basically means that I'm on it as well because she asks me to watch it every time she goes somewhere, which is all the time. And I was on it anyway at night. Well, I was answering it during her lunch break the other day and got 3 calls from the same guy and answered them very quickly. Then she got another call from the same guy and answered well. Later, he wrote an email to our manager saying how great a job she and I did that day, and that he's really happy with how everything has been going with hotline, etc. It was so nice to hear! Especially when it was specifically our names. There have been a couple times recently when people said I was doing a good job, which is always good. Mostly it was when I was doing Coldwell Banker, which actually I'm still doing. I had 3 separate projects for that site this week and they are all supposed to be done Monday (and they are indeed done now). I'm glad things are going well, especially after my many worries about making mistakes. I've had a lot of panic moments where I thought I forgot something major and then realized it was ok. I am also very proud of some of the problems I have solved by myself and I know people noticed. I even discovered a shortcut in our software that everyone was raving about for a while because it cut like 1000% of the time off that task. That was excellent of me. :)

 

There are three of us that have the late shift (one is ipod guy and one is a guy called Dan who is my age). The other day the two guys were dying to go home and basically just didn't want to do any work so they came over to my cube and we had a discussion for a while. It was strange for me because I had never really talked to Dan before. In our new restructuring my group is just me, Dan, and Patrick (aka the guy who said "Hey, Trouble!" to me, which Sarah likes). I'm enjoying it a lot so far. Anyway we never used to work together at all and now we do. He is a pretty funny guy. His big thing is that he drinks a lot. And by a lot I mean that it's all he does in his off-time and it's pretty much all he talks about. He gets drunk every day (so he says). So in our discussion we were talking about drinking and I felt kind of tool-ish because I hate it. We also talked about playing sports and I said I like to play soccer. But the gist of the conversation was drinking. He mentioned that I should try a bar nearby that I don't remember the name of. By his description I realized it was a place that was on the list of places to go that Sarah and I were looking at when she was here. We also discussed a little bit that he is now not the youngest person here. He graduated in 1999.

 

Yesterday I went to ask a question to a coworker I really enjoy. I mentioned him before, I know, a while ago. He's married and has a baby and is 10 years older and everything but that doesn't mean I can't adore him!!! Hehe. His baby is named Maddie and she was here one day and is so adorable. One day he was talking about how they go to classes together and the other parents were really impressed one time at how she could already sit up, and he said, "That's my girl!" To this day I smile at that. He is just a very spirited and talkative person, and makes jokes all the time, and I love being around him. So I went in to ask him a question and we had a really nice conversation and I was happy.

 

So it's going better here...everyone who I thought hated me actually doesn't, and I am respected in some "wise" and can now make jokes without getting blank stares back. Our boss is another matter though...I swear to god she dislikes me a lot for some reason, which is ok by me for now. She seems to be a difficult person in a way. But you know, I probably seem that way too because I don't talk to everyone. However, I don't think our boss is timid by any measure, so it's not quite the same.

 

I can't believe I still have two and a half hours left. Sometimes the days drag by.

Headlines

There must be a million jokes made about the unfortunate name of "Shiite," but I just have to bring this up.

 

Holy Shiite tomb attacked

Seattle Post Intelligencer

 

Holy Shiite! Tomb attacked!

 

There was a headline in The Onion last week that was like "History Buff Identifies with Millard Fillmore" or something and every single time I saw it, I thought it said Hillary Duff. Does she spell her name with two Ls or one? I don't really care. I was just struck by how weird that name is. And not that common.

 

I have to watch hotline from 11-7 today because my coworker called in sick. :(

View into the subconscious

I don't know what this says about me, probably nothing much, but last night i had this elaborate dream in which I was supposed to "be married" to Dan (yellow shirt Dan, I mean, not Daniel Jackson) for a weekend. I was absolutely enamored and it was the most wonderful thing, and I loved it. It was some kind of program a bunch of people were in (like a class) and we were paired off for this activity. Candy came up to me at the beginning of "class" and said, "Liz. Guess who you are with!!!" Haha.

 

Replying to Sarah's last statement: Yes, she has a ring, according to my sisters, and it is "massive." I'm guessing, judging by numerous comments made around Christmas, that it was $30,000. That seems just a little excessive to me and I am not sure if it's actually true. Can rings actually cost that much? My grandparents have said before that she's easily swayed by money, which is true. He buys her a lot of crap. She claims that she is uncomfortable because he buys her stuff, and I think that is the biggest lie in history. She loves it and depends on it, and everyone knows it.

 

Replying to another comment: we have mentioned to her a lot that she needs to get help. She simply refuses. She said once that she tried before, and it "almost killed her" and she will never try it again. Another brick wall.

 

La-di-da...

Be prepared...I am going to swear a lot more here

My sister just wrote me an email saying that there is a great amount of circumstantial evidence to say that my mother is now engaged to HSB.

@(#*&@(*$#*&@(*$&(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first reaction to this news was hysterical laughter, because as Izzie said on Grey's Anatomy, I have really inappropriate reactions to stress. Then I got extremely mad because my mother has pushed me to the absolute limit of patience. I am a patient person. But jesus fucking christ!

It's not only that she is going to marry a total fucking asshole out of spite for my dad, which is truly the case in my mind. It's the endless amount of verbal trauma. In the email my sister sent she described the circumstances in which she understood that my mom was engaged. Basically it was an incident involving screaming and yelling because "you don't want me to be your mother," etc. etc. etc. as we have heard 23042390 times. Shut your fucking pie hole!!!

I am SO SICK of her SHIT! I don't even fucking care that she's been through a hard time lately. What-fucking-ever. She's had a rough time for her whole entire life. Jesus fucking christ. I am so mad.

You know, I may have said this before, but if it was socially acceptable to cut ties with a family member, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, because my grandma would freak out, and others would freak out and think I was going to hell, etc. So, to keep my grandmother happy, I will instead put myself through hell on earth for the rest of my life.

My head is literally exploding right now. My hands are moving and I don't even know what I'm typing. Shit. I hate her fucking guts.

American Idol

Jesus, guys, I am so sad that a great many of you can't watch AI for various reasons. Thinking about it now, I seem to remember that some of you didn't like it anyway.

Well, this season is fricking unbelievable. It's hilarious and good and awful all at once. There are people I hate and people I just love.

There is this guy that is just like Constantine in a lot of ways, especially how he acts on stage and how he looks. Emily, you HAVE to see him...I will literally send you a clip because he is the funniest damn thing ever. He sang "Father Figure" tonight, of all things. I laughed so hard throughout.

SHIT! Tomorrow is the deadline for leaving a message for Coldplay. Shit. Shit. Shit. I seem to be full of profanity today. Shit!!! What am I to do?! Oh good, it goes until the 28th. I thought it was the 23rd. Come to think of it, I always wondered why it was the 23rd. 28th makes a lot more sense.

Potpourri

Question: In the bathroom here at work, there is a needle disposal box, like they have at doctor's offices. What is it there for? It just now occurred to me that maybe they need it for people who have to take insulin, for example. I've never seen anything in it. Is it law, I wonder? I've never seen one in any other bathroom.

 

I had to look up the etymology of potpourri, so here it is.

 

1611, "mixed meats served in a stew," from Fr. pot pourri "stew," lit. "rotten pot" (loan-translation of Sp. olla podrida), from pourri, pp. of pourrir "to rot," from V.L. *putrire, from L. putrescere "grow rotten" (see putrescent ). Notion of "medley" led to meaning "mixture of dried flowers and spices," first recorded in Eng. 1749. Fig. sense (originally in music) of "miscellaneous collection" is recorded from 1855.

 

FYI, Fr. is French, Sp. is Spanish, L. is Latin, and V.L. is Vulgar Latin, as in everyday Latin (not "obscene" Latin)...as in the Vulgate, which was the translation of the Bible into everyday Latin.

 

Anyway...

 

I have been reading Crime and Punishment for the past week or so. It is a book that I started in High School and twice since then, but never finished. It's not that it's bad or boring or anything, it just never ends. It's only 500 pages long, but still, it never ends. I was about halfway through on Friday, and so I said, "I'll finish this weekend." I must have read for like 8 hours straight on Saturday. I was up until 5am on Sunday morning, and then read more on Sunday afternoon. I swear to god that book went on forever. But you know, it was extremely good, and as I finally finished it, I can say that it has an exceptional ending. I was very pleased at the ending. It has been in my head since then. It was interesting getting a taste of Russian culture, albeit pretty old (late 1800s). No doubt things are much different now. Throughout the time I was reading it, I was trying to imagine what it would sound like and look like in Russian. That is one language I know very little about. Cyrillic lettering is very interesting to me (did you know that it was just randomly invented by two guys--I believe one was named Cyril, hence Cyrillic--sometime in the Middle Ages? It is a combination of Latin and Greek letters) and I wish I knew at least what each symbol sounded like so I could at least pronounce a word. I am not sure if Russian is technically written in Cyrillic, though. I know that many Eastern European countries use it because it originally stemmed from some kind of church conflict between Eastern Orthodox and Catholic; thus, it began in the church. Look at me spouting all this information. Anyway, one of the characters in the book, named Razumikhin, was very pleasing to me and I also really like his name. There were a lot of instances where you could tell the translation was weird. I was once in a Russian Lit class for the beginning of a semester (I dropped it). I think we were going to read that book. It would have been interesting to see what was the typical interpretation of it and what was supposed to be interesting. While reading, I was using some of my picked up English major habits, but not many. I like being able to just read without having to pick out hidden agendas. It would maybe be interesting to know about the hidden agendas, but I don't want to find them myself. There were some mentions of "Jews" in the book--although not much description followed the mentions--which reminded me of Dan (mainly because he is Jewish and Russian). I really want to read Anna Karenina and have for a long time. Currently I'm on Jane Eyre and I plan to do A.K. next. I'm in this reading frenzy and it's actually kind of nice. I halted for a long time after graduation and I believe I have reached the point where I don't hate books anymore.

 

I taught myself to knit last night and I must say it hasn't been that enjoyable yet. It hurts my back because of the way I sit. My aunt knits every moment of her life (literally) and has for many, many years. She knits at the dinner table, even. It took us off guard when we first met her. Her license plate says "Knitwit".

dammit!

even with changing my email address, i only got 1 email today but it was a spam email! through the form. how can they do that? :( :( :( it is one of the saddest and most unfortunate things about the internet, that you cannot put your email address anywhere online, and moreover, that you have to build all this anti-spam stuff into your forms, and even then they get through.

it's like if every time you walked outside 80 million mosquitoes bit you, and then you put on insect repellent and they still bit you, and then you brought out an insecticide sprayer and sprayed it for and hour, and they were still there and bit you. i apologize for that analogy, but it was the best i could do.

things i've learned so far today

1. i really dislike driving.
2. 13 degrees is really a lot nicer than -13. it was almost pleasant.
3. i need to get a new email address for my website, since spam has in the past week or so reached a new level. there is some sort of worm that has been absolutely inundating the inbox, like 2 emails a minute.

here is an interesting email i just received, and i have literally no idea what it means.

Without place to doubt they are great coldplay since conosco treatment of consegir all its disc, I need single, one, that where she leaves the yellow planet, I am of good serious PERU that the electronicos post office of all integrntes of vanda envien to us. I am adderly, I am 18 years old.

A joke only true Sci-fi fans could get

Tonight Stargate was all about alien bugs again. Not replicators--actual bugs. And at the end they were talking about having a movie night, and Col. Mitchell said, "Let's watch Starship Troopers." Ha! It's all about alien bugs! :D

News of the day
It is so goddamn cold. It is SO cold. I don't know if I can remember a time when it was this cold. Maybe it is because we lived between two lakes in Madison, and in Rochester I can't really remember temps like this. It's like, you go outside and your face immediately hurts, and your lungs quit working. Inside, your feet and hands hurt because they can't stay warm. It is painful. I think it's worse because it's really windy. I do remember a couple of times in Madison by the windy corner by that Embassy apartment building that I almost threw up because of being hit by subzero winds. I get that reaction for some reason, either coughing or gagging.

I don't understand cold weather. I get that the sun doesn't heat up this part of the earth as much in winter, and that we're in the middle of the continent so it doesn't get warmed by the ocean. So it should be slightly less than average. But this...this is way beyond that. I can't believe that it's just arctic air moving in from the north. Can arctic air actually stay that cold, and make places it passes into that cold as well? It seems kind of unnatural. Heating is something a lot more natural to my mind, because of the sun. Cooling is a lot weirder. It's the same with bodies, or appliances, or whatever. It's way easier to heat something up than to cool it down, esp. when we're talking a considerable cool-down. I don't think the earth has freon! Or a homeostasis mechanism! Actually, it does have a homeostasis-type thing, but that wouldn't cause it to become very very cold in places where it usually isn't. Anyway...

I had a mildly boring but quick day. Tomorrow I may go to the library in Roseville. In recent days I have been really sad to be out of academia, for certain reasons. Not because I miss exams or homework. I miss having access to the libraries, and just being in an academic atmosphere. I physically cannot write anymore right now because my hands are literally frozen.

O Danny Boy

This is a picture I got off the episode from today. Eeeee! Oh, he is so cute. :)

Making a fool of myself

I am wondering right now just how much of my life is spent worrying about something I just did and how it made me look like an idiot. Do other people do this? Like, is there someone else in the office that's going around worrying how they just said something dumb to me? I honestly don't think so. I think it's because I really do say idiotic things. Seriously. It's like when I talk to certain people my brain quits working. Usually I have to rehearse what I'm going to say if I can, and sometimes that doesn't even work.

 

I had this article from a while ago but never put it on here:

Hamster, snake best friends at Tokyo zoo

TOKYO (AP) -- Gohan and Aochan make strange bedfellows: one's a 3.5-inch dwarf hamster; the other is a four-foot rat snake. Zookeepers at Tokyo's Mutsugoro Okoku zoo presented the hamster - whose name means "meal" in Japanese - to Aochan as a tasty morsel in October, after the snake refused to eat frozen mice.

But instead of indulging, Aochan decided to make friends with the furry rodent, according to keeper Kazuya Yamamoto. The pair have shared a cage since.

"I've never seen anything like it. Gohan sometimes even climbs onto Aochan to take a nap on his back," Yamamoto said.

Aochan, a 2-year-old male Japanese rat snake, eventually developed an appetite for frozen rodents but has so far shown no signs of gobbling up Gohan - despite her name.

"We named her Gohan as a joke," Yamamoto chuckled. "But I don't think there's any danger. Aochan seems to enjoy Gohan's company very much."

The Tokyo zoo also keeps a range of mostly livestock animals, and promotes "cross-breed interaction," according to Yamamoto.

But Gohan and Aochan's case was "was a complete accident," Yamamoto said.

Weekend at Liz's, part deux

After the Walker Art Center, we decided to go to IKEA. I couldn't exactly remember where it was, so I thought I'd use my best guess and go with that. I turned out to be wrong and we went for a while in the wrong direction. I then called my dad to ask where to go. I accidentally swore while I was on the phone and I hope he didn't hear me. I somehow retained a working knowledge of how the highways work around here so I managed to get us going the right way. However, we ended up making a circle around the entire north metro area. But we did get to IKEA, thanks very much. And in my defense, I think it would have taken nearly the same amount of time to get there, ok, maybe 15 minutes more, if we'd have gone the right way, because of how things are. I'll tell you one thing: I learned a lot that weekend about getting around in the cities. I don't drive that much around here, and after all, I've only been here for 4 or 5 months, so it was a learning experience for me.

At IKEA I bought a bunch of stuff including a shelf for my movies. Later, when I put it up, I realized that I do not have many movies. They only fill up 2.5 compartments of the shelf. So I can use it for CDs or books or whatever. I need more shelving because I already don't have enough space for my books. I had to severely limit the amount of books I brought when I moved because I didn't have space. It is sad. I've taken to reading quite a bit, so soon I'm going to run out of books. Right now I'm reading Crime and Punishment. How strange is that? Back to the story.

We decided to come back home after that because I was sick of driving and we were both tired. Of course, for some reason we couldn't/didn't get on 94 going west because I swear to god there wasn't an exit off of 35E. Sarah didn't see one either. So we just went up a little, which was fine since I had to get gas and my gas station was right on the way.

We decided to get a movie off of On Demand (Side note: I am sorry, but Comcast's selections are so crappy compared to Charter--in general I like Comcast better, because they're bigger and seem more well put together. Just compare their commercials and you will see. But in this dept. they need help). Nobody is more different in movie tastes than Sarah and me, and we found this out many times last summer when trying to get movies from Blockbuster with Sarah's free rentals. We are both very stubborn, also, so that made it even harder. We decided on this movie finally, and I'm going to go actually get it on the screen so I can get it right. Dammit! It's not there anymore. Well, the description was kind of like this. It was called Sex and the Teenage Mind. "Sexy, steamy, and hilariously funny, this engaging film brings you into the mind of a teenager and shows you what they think of sex." It was something like that. Well, we watched it and it was THE worst film I have ever seen. I don't know if Sarah would say that, but I know she also hated it. We looked at the description later and decided that it was a total lie. I wish it was still there so I could repeat it. It was not sexy or steamy or in any way funny. The actors were terrible. The plot was horrible. I called it a "Poor Man's American Pie" because that's basically what it was. A very poor man's. I'm just looking at it on imdb and it got 4.6/10 (generous). The guy who starred in it has been a guest star on like 40 television shows.

Anyway. Later we went to Perkins which was really good. We decided to get a snack, and went to Cub Foods, which is right across the street. We had trouble finding ice cream and had to ask. What's with grocery stores here? Did you know that the one I sometimes go to in Roseville has NO frozen vegetables? None! And at Target they only have a select few. I wanted french cut green beans. So I got 3 bags at Cub. Anyway, we went to check out and we went in different lanes. Sarah got done before me and went to wait at the end where the bags are so she could bag my food for me. She called out to me, "Do you want paper or plastic?" I said, "plastic is fine." We exchanged a few more words as my stuff was being checked out. I paid and went to the end and then noticed that the cashier woman was holding my food back. She was giving annoyed looks to Sarah and sighing audibly. I went over to Sarah and waited there for a second and then thought, "oh, maybe I have to go up further to get my food." I sort of approached the cashier lady and she kind of shied away and said in a haughty voice, "as soon as that is taken care of, I'll be happy to send this down." (said while pointing to Sarah and her purchase, which was on the conveyor belt waiting for my stuff. Sarah was like "whoa, ok!" And then I just got it as she sent it down and then we left. Oh my god, it was so weird. We talked about it the entire way home, and laughed until we cried. We decided that she must have had something kind of weird with her head because she was acting really strangely. There are so many things about the situation that are hilarious...that Sarah and I were talking, that nobody is going to run away with my food when I'm standing right there, etc.

Ok. We went home and didn't really do anything else. The next day we went to Taco Bell for lunch and then Sarah left.

Christ, I'm sick of writing!!!

I received my Don't Panic CD today. It's different than the others because it's in one of those packages that's basically a cardboard pocket. I think it's one of their prettiest pieces of artwork, though.


This picture I'm putting here is terrible and the color is all off, but you get the gist. It's a richer red and not so hot pink. Oh no, I just noticed that there is a blemish in the printing on mine. Oh well. Here, also, is the sister single (Yellow). I think they go so well together.

Weekend at Liz's

Here is your promised recap of when Sarah was here the weekend before my birthday. Get ready for fun, laughs, and the time of your life. Haha, a coworker just popped her head in and said "Wake up!!!" She is funny.

 

The weekend began with me frantically cleaning my apartment. She doesn't know about that part, partially because it wasn't really that clean. Cleaner than usual, but not spotless. She arrived at around 5:45 and then my dad and Sandy came to celebrate my birthday. We all went to Fuddrucker's and then back to my apartment where I opened presents. They gave me a briefcase, which made me realize that I am now wholly in the corporate world. Sarah gave me a beautiful candle holder which goes very well in my living room.

 

That night we were trying to find something to do, but it was kind of late. All the music stuff (of the very few things that looked interesting) had been started and could have been over already. We decided to just go to First Avenue because there was what looked like a typical dance thing and women got in free. Well, so we left and after a confusing drive we got there around 10 I think. I found a $20 bill on the ground in the parking lot.

 

Right before we were there there was a Girls Gone Wild show. Par for the course, I think. People were streaming out and at first we went in what was apparently the exit door. Then we went in the "correct" door and almost got in without getting an armband (funny, since it was 21+, as Sarah later pointed out). We had to pay, even after Sarah explained that she thought women got in free. He said no. He totally should have let us in. I paid for us with my new-found $20. There were like 6 people there. I was hoping that Elijah would be there since Laura said he worked there, but he was not. We stayed for a little while and then found it to be pretty boring and loud, so we left. We tried to find Coldplay's star, but could not. We did find Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, and U2--all of which I was amazed to see. Jeff Buckley at First Avenue. Imagine that.

 

We then went home (after another confusing drive) and pretty much just went to bed. The next morning Sarah was like "I want to go to a cool diner for breakfast" (typical Sarah fashion, eh?) so we found this place in St. Paul and drove there, and it was interesting. I didn't like what I got, but oh well. The waitress was very peppy.

 

We decided to go to the Walker Art Center in downtown Minneapolis, which I haven't been to in years. I did not remember it was a modern art museum. We had the most confusing drive yet going there (Christ, it would be so convenient to actually know how the streets are around there, but I don't live there!) That was really stressful. It happened to be a free admission day, which was cool. There was an Andy Warhol exhibit--ok, a couple of Rothkos--cool, a sculpture that reminded me of Great Expectations--awesome. But then, there was this piece of video. I will try to explain as gently as I can. Now, keep in mind that I am a pretty open minded person. I get art and shocking. I was trying to tell this to my aunt and she was like, "well, art can sometimes be shocking." I was like, no. Shocking is the least of my concerns for this video. This somehow went overboard. Ok. So the artist made a video. It had silhouette people in it, and it was silent. Every once in a while there would be some text alluding to what was going on. The basic plot had something to do with slavery, I think. I'm not totally sure. Throughout it there were white men taking advantage of black girls in all kinds of ways. There were sexual situations throughout it, including a white man forcing himself on a black girl, a black girl using a broom to do "something" to the guy, and two white guys and a black girl. Etc. So at some point the black girls gained control, I'm not sure how, and decided to take revenge. I can't remember all that they did but it included whipping. At the end, one of the white guys was hanged. Then text popped up which said, "We decided to take advantage of all of their good attributes." Then up on the screen comes a view of the guy, hanging, dead, with his "member" erect and sticking out. Side note: I saw on television that this used to happen a lot and sometimes they would even "finish." So anyway the guy is hanging there. And what do you know? One of the girls comes over and pleasures him with her mouth. Until he "finishes." Then, you see some liquidy stuff going all over her face. This stuff goes on her face for 2 minutes, or at least a period of time which seems way too long.

 

Sound artistic to you? The thing that got us the most was that there was a 9-year-old kid in there watching it. I am hoping he just didn't really get it. That would have freaked the living hell out of me if I was that age. Considering how I felt about it at 24...once I saw two people making out in a vestibule at Barclay Square and it enveloped my mind for weeks. Every kid is different, of course, but still...

 

Another interesting thing at the WAC was this thing called the Plesher or something, which was an outdoor art installment. It had something to do with the sky. The description made it sound really cool. I thought it was going to be some kind of made up light show and Sarah thought it was going to be a planetarium type thing. Boy, were we wrong. We had a hell of a time finding it, and walked around the entire place trying to figure out where it was. Finally we asked, and it turned out that we had to go  up the stairs and through the lobby of the Guthrie, outside, into an alleyway, and onto this plywood walkway into a hole in the side of a hill. It was so weird. Then we went in, and this is what it was: a box with a hole in the top. It was basically so that you could look at the "changing sky"--the actual sky as it was at the moment. That day it was pure blue with no clouds. Great.

 

God, this is getting really long and I am so tired of typing. I cannot continue.

 

 

 

 

Various comments

I have no earthly idea what's wrong with my head today. It really hurts a lot. Ok, I guess I can think of one idea. I didn't eat very well yesterday. Ok, seriously, it is so pressurized right now that I wouldn't be surprised if I had an aneurism right now and died. I don't even really know what an aneurism is, but it sounds like something I could have right now. Owwwww. Maybe it's a sudden onset of hydroencephalitis.

 

You know, if you think about it, there are a lot of days out of a person's life where he or she doesn't feel that well. I feel like I'm constantly complaining about something. I know I've gotten sick more often lately because of the office (coworkers concur with that and we had a cleaning day on Friday). However, I still feel not up-to-par a lot of days. Last week there was a day I felt great, and that doesn't come up that often.

 

I also wonder what other people's threshold is for feeling bad. I haven't missed a day of work yet, even when I nearly threw up all over my cube. I had no problem missing classes when I was back in college, but I only missed maybe 2 days of work at the library for being sick, in 2.5 years. I hesitate to miss work for being sick, for some reason (even though I had no problem missing classes). But I tell you...that one day after Christmas, I was so, so close to calling in. My sisters were here, too, but it was my first day of hotline which I thought I should do.

 

Ipod asshole turns a quarter to half of the way around in his chair every time someone walks by. It makes me SO mad. I don't know why. I always make a face at the outside of his cube when he does that.

 

The Grammys

 

I need to figure out where the name of that award comes from. Well, the day of the Grammys started out panicky for me because I forgot to set up a tape for it. I set up a tape/DVR for Stargate and American Idol and forgot about the Grammys. So, I had to coordinate a time to go home to fix that. I am so lucky that I live so close by. The problem was, however, that the apartment complex is being overrun by remodeling people. It really bothers me because when I leave at 10:45 or so I have to barge through all these painting and carpet-laying people. I didn't want to go home in the middle of the day because I'd have to barge through them again. But I finally just decided to do it, and barged through a guy power sanding the wall. (Why they painted and then spackled and power sanded the wall, and re-painted, I don't really understand).

 

P.S. Tonight's the night when Daniel comes back from being 'dead'...I am so happy!!!

 

The funniest part of the show was this: Ellen DeGeneres came on to introduce Paul McCartney and this was her introduction: "Our next performer needs no introduction." Then she walked off stage. Ha! I laughed for a long time at that.

 

Coldplay's performance was really good. Throughout the show, they would show video clips before a person or group performed, and Coldplay's was funny. It was Chris and Jonny talking (actually just Chris talked) about their last Grammy performance. He said something like "Last time we had the pleasure to play with the New York Philharmonic [they played Politik with them in 2003--god, that was a long time ago--I was in Canada at the time]. However, I think they thought we were too loud, so this time we're just going to use one guitar, and this is him right here. So it will just be Jonny up there doing his thing." Then Chris burst out laughing and ran off camera. Chris is usually very dynamic in television performances, and this was no different. He ran out into the audience and danced around. His hair is getting very long and he also has facial hair right now. I was hoping they'd show Gwyneth or Apple, but they did not.

 

Coldplay did not win any of the 3 awards they were nominated for--they were beat out in all three categories by U2. One of the other categories I was watching, Alternative Rock Album, was won by White Stripes. Death Cab and Arcade Fire were in that category, so it piqued my interest. Is that how you spell that?

 

Another interesting performance was Jay-Z, Linkin Park, and Paul McCartney. That was sort of ok because Jay-Z and Linkin Park had a legitimate collaboration and actually won an award for it that night. However, I think the show is going a little overboard with their collaborations. The opening number was Madonna and Gorillaz--that says enough for me. P.S. I love Madonna's song Hung Up.

 

I read an article that said that being able to perform on the Grammys is even bigger than winning a Grammy. That made me feel a bit better about CP not winning. I wonder how many they've won before--I know it's at least 2 (that seems low) but I can't remember what they won for Parachutes.

 

Um...what else? Kelly Clarkson won a couple and I was very proud of her. I don't know what the whole deal is about her totally renouncing American Idol, but I still like her and like to see her doing well.

 

Otherwise the show was pretty typically boring. I've thought for a long time that it's basically a big night where people get recognized for being really popular (especially the performances), and that's it. It's like Student Council back at our high school. It really has nothing to do with being good for the job. It's how popular you are. I'm not saying I can judge how "good" music is. I know better than that. But the Grammys really are like that...winning, anyway.

 

Nominations are I think more about really good and creative music. But when people are faced with a choice, I'm sure there are other things that make them choose one over the other. For instance, I read that Paul McCartney had a good chance of winning Best something because he had never won a Grammy before, and that may have been a large reason he was nominated. He did win one, actually. Also, I read that for the Oscars, there have been times a person has won for a movie they should not have won for, just because they were passed up before when they should have gotten it (they say that Russell Crowe had that happen--he won for Gladiator but had been passed up for an earlier movie, and Paul Giamatti might this year--not nominated for Sideways but was for Cinderella Man).

 

It makes sense in a way that the popular ones are recognized in the end, because "good" is relative. I think everyone would enjoy it better if their favorite artists were nominated, performed, and won, but I guess that will never happen. I personally will continue to endure it as long as real, honest crap does not appear on the show--and I mean stuff that everyone will agree is crap, such as Nickelback.

 

That reminds me that the other day I was driving to and from Prior Lake and had three annoying driving instances. 1) A car was weaving in and out of lanes without blinking and I was getting really mad. It was a Mustang and I felt he was doing that just because he had a Mustang. He also kept tossing crap out of his window. I looked over as I passed, finally, and he was talking on a cell phone. 2) A car cut me off and I honked (have never had to do that before). 3) A car was going really slow and changing lanes without blinking. I had to be behind this car for a long time and at one point I noticed the license plate said "Creed 1." At this I laughed and laughed and thought it was very fitting.

 

I had to stop and put air in my tire and it was so cold on my hand that I may have gotten mild frostbite. I did not have gloves.

 

 

tired

tired

tired

tired

tired

tired

 

tired

 

tired

Ew

I was just looking at the tv schedule online to search for a movie and came across this lovely picture of Pamela Anderson and had to share it. It reminded me of the lovely picture of Nadia (?) that I found on my computer, which is below. Hahaha. I guess they were never on America's Next Top Model, where they learn to always look good at every moment. That picture of Nadia or whatever her name is is absolutely horrible.

Thank you very much.

Frustratingly, my MP3 player went wacko today. I thought I was going to have to send it in and get a new one. However, I managed to find a document online that instructed me in how to reformat it and reinstall its firmware. And it now works again!!! Woohoo! It was a lonely afternoon working without Death Cab, I'll tell you that. I don't know what happened to make it freak out. I didn't do anything with it between yesterday and today.

This morning I was very upset at something that happened at work. I wrote a blog entry about it and then deleted it because I felt like a tool. The issue was this: I came in and overheard my manager talking to a co-worker about Flash. My manager told her that she (the coworker) was getting the third Flash license. Ok, this is getting confusing already. I'm going to call my manager Elaine and my coworker Rachel. The funny thing is that I was going to go with the first name I heard on television and that was Elizabeth. That won't work!

Anyway, "Elaine" told "Rachel" that Rachel was going to get the third Flash license (there are only three for our office). Then she said, "I told IT to talk to you and Ipod asshole first because you'd probably know it more than anyone else." Rachel said, "I don't really know it that well." I was PISSED because Elaine asked me a couple of weeks ago if I knew Flash, and I said yes. She indicated that I'd be helping out with some Flash we were going to do in the future. I was excited because I look forward to doing something different. Then I overhear her saying Rachel was going to do it, and that she told IT to ask Rachel and Ipod asshole. I was mighty steamed because I sometimes feel that Elaine doesn't like me.

Well, I assumed Elaine would get one license and "Luke," another manager, would get the other. But we all know that assuming makes an ass out of u and me. So I was pissed because Rachel got the third one. I thought to myself, there had better be a good explanation for this, because that is really a low blow.

So a couple of hours later, Luke comes in and says to me, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you should have Flash on your machine now. You got the second license." HA! Boy did I feel sheepish. Good thing I didn't go complain to someone, other than this blog.

Had quite a bit of work today because the Century 21 site is going live on Monday. My site that launched last Monday was Coldwell Banker. I worked on that a ton today too. Century 21 is about twice as big and it was a pain in the ass to work through today. We had to disable every single product in the store and then create new ones that were exact copies (we did that before). However, today we had to go through one by one and do some tasks on the copied products. There were so f-ing many. For instance, we have to tell the system what product to go to if someone tries to reorder an old product. This involves a screen in which you select the old product and then go through a list of I swear to god a million products, and search for the correct copy. God. I was chanting to myself, "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this" as I was doing that. It took for-freaking-ever.

There are a set of people who work through the store and test it, and they are hilarious. Not in an endearing way, though. Hilarious in a maddening want to shoot yourself way. That's all I have to say about that.

Ringo is becoming an interesting ward. He threw up twice on two different socks of mine that were on the floor. Thanks a lot, cat. That moment is when this experience got very old. He snores really loud and wakes me up. When he does that I just yell out, "Ringo, be quiet!"

A funny thing, though, is where he chooses to sleep. I have a single sheet of paper in the middle of the floor (instructions from an IKEA thing). He goes over to it and tries to squish himself up so that he fits on the paper, and sleeps there. He has done that with three separate pieces of material--tissue, cardboard, and paper. HAHA! just now while I was sitting here he figured out how to get on the windowsill through the closed blinds. Let's see if he can get out now! Yep, he did.

Stargate was pretty good tonight. Daniel looked HOT. Later this weekend I will have a report on last weekend when Sarah was here, and a couple of interesting pieces of video we saw. Also, a report on what I thought about the Grammys.

Pretty good day

I had a good day today. Work is looking up a lot. I got a lot of commendations on the work I did the past few weeks on the site I was doing. Today when I walked in this guy I worked with greeted me in this manner: "Hey, Trouble!" Haha.

After finding out that I apparently sound British, I told a couple other co-workers. One laughed and one said, "You do have a very pretty accent. Very elegant." Wow!!! a) I never realized I talked that differently. I thought, if anything, I was getting more Minnesotan. b) I hate my speaking voice. Elegant is the last word I'd use to describe it, and British is the second to last. Well, at any rate it made my year, as I said before. I couldn't stop smiling all day long.

I've been having to answer the phone a lot in the last few weeks so it's gotten drastically less stressful. I enjoy it, in a way. The only thing that bothers me is that it's hard to say, "Merrill Shop, this is Elizabeth" without messing up somehow.

I have a lot of ideas for my website and I'm getting behind again. No doubt there's a lot of stuff from the new tour. I just absolutely cannot get myself into it. It is so hard to do anything on the computer outside of work because it's the last place I want to sit during my free time. Kind of sad.

The DVR program works great and I'm in love with it. The FF function is amazing. You can go through a commercial break in about 3 seconds. I'm scared at how much it will cost to buy. It's a trial version. Ok, I'm going to bite the bullet and look now. Shit, man...it's $80. Bah. I already spent freaking $200 for the DVR and good software costs $80 more? I'm lucky that I can afford it, but it's not like I just want to go throwing $80 around.

It is absolutely freezing here today. I think I'll take a hot bath soon. today it snowed about 2 inches during the day.

What else? Nothing...the only thing that is in my brain right now is that it has to be 50 degrees in here. Christ. Later.

AHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I just had a moment that made my year. I was talking to my favorite customer service guy on the phone and he said, "I've been meaning to ask you, where are you from?" I said Rochester, and he said, "It sounds like you're from England, I always thought you had a British accent and you were from England!" AHHHHHHHHH! I about died when he said that. HEHEHEHEHE!!!

How I manage to do these things, I have no idea

Well, through a strange set of errors I have purchased two copies of Trouble. One was $9 and one was $6. How did I do that? I'm so confused. Well, it's not the first time I have done that...actually, it may be the third. ?????? Sometimes I astound myself at my idiocy.

Great birthday present

I received the signed Talk DVD this evening, as well as the Yellow single. Upon opening Yellow, I said to Ringo, "Ringo, I'm holding a piece of history in my hands." I almost cried upon opening the DVD. Partially because I realized it was in PAL format. It won't play on my television, but thank goodness I have Daniel, who can deal with any format. :) I was also very happy about it, though, of course.

The DVD is I think from Germany. It says Parlophone on it, but I am fairly sure it was distributed in Germany. It has a really weird jewel case (called a Super Jewel BOX!) that I've never seen before. Anyway, it's beautiful.

I installed a program last night that is allowing my DVR to record programs about 5 million percent better than the one that came with it. It actually does what the DVR is supposed to do. The problem I was having before is that when it was hooked up directly to the cable, it wouldn't do scheduled programming. I think that's a pretty important thing. It occurred to me that it was probably just the software's driver that kept erroring. So I installed the other software. I haven't actually checked to see if the things recorded, because currently it's busy. However, the orange light is on, which means it's recording. Good sign. And, it doesn't even take up any of the RAM whatsoever. Kind of creepy. I read somewhere that video cards have their own RAM, so that's probably it. Well, time for dinner.

Sincerely, Liz and her new pieces of music history.

Slow internet

What's the deal with slow internet? I don't mean dial-up...I mean web servers or sites that load at an unbelievably slow rate. I have had some experience with this in the past few weeks, because our servers have crashed multiple times, causing everything to basically not go anywhere at all. It's incredibly frustrating. And currently I'm trying to get to a website and it's simply not going. Even as I type this, the Compoase Mail page has not finished loading.

 

You'd think that this would not be such a widespread problem. Consider what time it is: 7:30. Also consider how many people are currently working and possibly tying up some of the company's bandwidth. Sometimes that is indeed the problem...just busy. But no, there are only two people here. Me and ipod asshole. So really. What's the problem?

 

There. At least one page came up. Now it's at least time to go home.

Happy Birthday To Me

What a strange day. I started my new shift today, 11-7:30. It's actually pretty nice. I think I'll enjoy the extra time in the morning. I'm going to have to figure out show taping, though.

 

For some reason I am feeling like Moe from The Simpsons when he calls up a pizza place and says, "Can you have them spell out 'Happy Birthday Moe' in pepperoni? I'm so lonely!" I think when you're an "adult" your birthday is drastically less important...not to say that nobody remembered, because they did, and it was very nice. It's just the actual part where I go to work and live out my day--when you're a kid it's a magical day all the way through and now it's a day like every other day. I barely even remembered it was my birthday.

 

Hard to believe I'm 24...we're getting old, my friends!!! Old and cynical and hardened to the ways of the world.

 

The next birthday I know of is Dan's on the 17th. Are you surprised I remembered that? You shouldn't be.

Chris Martin/Grey's Anatomy

I was watching Grey's Anatomy tonight (which was very good, by the way). Towards the end a song came on, and I was listening and I was like, that is Coldplay. But I had never heard the song before. I was mortified that there was a song by them that I didn't know. But there was no way it wasn't at least Chris Martin. I thought, maybe it's a B-side from Talk or something. Well, I went online and found this, which made me feel better.

Stipe and Martin make sweet music together
REM's Michael Stipe has teamed up with Coldplay's Chris Martin for a charity single to continue aid for Hurricane Katrina victims.

This Sunday, following the Super Bowl (February 5) Stipe's duet with Martin on the Joseph Arthur-penned song 'In the Sun' will premiere on US television drama 'Grey's Anatomy'.

The following day it will be available for purchase solely on iTunes, with proceeds going to benefit Mercy Corps .

"The news cycle has moved on and I don't want the public to forget about those who were affected by Katrina or to believe that everything is fine now," Stipe said in a statement yesterday.

He added: "It's a unique place, not only to this country but to the world. I had to do something as a Southerner. I had to do something as a public figure. The one thing I can do is sing, and it's probably the best way to get people to pay attention."

The song features piano by Fountains Of Wayne's Adam Schlesinger and production by Stipe with ex-Smashing Pumpkins guitarist James Iha.

In addition to the duet with Martin, the single will be available in a number of formats on iTunes, including a live version recorded by Coldplay and Stipe at the Texas music festival Austin City Limits earlier this year, as well as a remix by Justin Timberlake and Black Eyed Peas star will.i.am.

'In The Sun' will also be featured in a documentary film of the same name, which airs on US cable network the Sundance Channel later this year. Stipe, Martin and a number of hurricane survivors are interviewed in the picture.

The full track listing of 'In the Sun' is:

Michael Stipe - In the Sun (Gulf Coast Relief) (Feat. Chris Martin)
Michael Stipe - In the Sun (JAW Breakers Remix) (Feat. Chris Martin, Mix by Justin Timberlake and will.i.am)
Michael Stipe - In the Sun (Feat. Joseph Arthur)
Michael Stipe - In the Sun (Michael Stipe)
Michael Stipe - In the Sun (w/ Coldplay) (Recorded Live at Austin City Limits)
Michael Stipe - In the Sun (Free Acoustic Couch Rehearsal) (Michael Stipe/Joseph Arthur)

What an interesting idea. Reminds me of What's Going On. I guess I have actually heard the song before, since it was on ACL. It's pretty, very flowing and ethereal. And now that I hear the title, it sounds vaguely familiar. Another thing I'll have to buy, I guess...

What an interesting day.

I have had a most interesting day so far.

 

First thing this morning I come in and I actually felt pretty good, despite having gotten up extra early. I sat down and a coworker who shall remain unnamed came in and was talking to me about a hotline thing I did yesterday. I got a call from a customer service person and talked to her for a long time about this certain product someone was trying to order. The product was coming up with a price of $0, which occasionally happens when we forget to do one thing or another. Don't worry, usually you get an error if you try to buy those products--you don't get them free. This was happening to that agent. So I told the cust. service person I'd fix it and call her back. So, what I did first was check the pricing. There's an application that runs on our systems that pulls pricing based on item numbers. So I ran that and it said that the item number in question wasn't found. When this happens, we either check the item number or notify someone in development to fix it. So, I notified development. Then a bunch of emails went back and forth and it ended up that the aforementioned coworker said the $0 price was correct. Anyway, long story short, I should have just asked her. I figured that out by now, but when I'm in a time crunch situation I get flustered. I try to do as much as I can and I am proud of my problem-solving skills. The development guy agreed with me, I might add, that the item numbers should get prices even if they are $0. But this morning she comes in and goes, "When I'm on hotline, I always make sure to check with the person whose store it is before I go to development." I thought that was kind of rude. I'm in no way perfect, and I do make many mistakes. I should have gone to her first, but in my mind at the time I had figured it out. It was perfectly logical to me to get the item numbers to work. But it's not like it cost hours out of anyone's time. So that actually really made me feel bad. I'm already self-conscious enough about how I troubleshoot things.

 

That sort of goes into this other issue that happened this week. I was working on marketing credits (if agents can get products free). Someone was complaining that they didn't get as much free as they should have. So I went in and checked the credits that were applied to that agent and the report said that what was happening was correct. I found out later that a whole slew of marketing credits had been set up incorrectly. I have been getting calls all week about it. I found out that it's ok to change them so they get more free. At the time, though, I assumed that what we had set up was correct. I think the agent actually ordered the items and had to pay more...she can get a refund if she calls, but I had no idea. I feel bad. It was only $6, but how was I supposed to know? Anyway, I have been fixing them since then. I have saved agents at least $3 in total!....

 

Then there was this product that wasn't working, which I swear to freaking god I fixed. I checked it a bunch of times. Then the girl who's covering today got a call from the same guy saying "Elizabeth worked on this and said it's done but it's not" so I checked it and it was working on my computer, and then she as looking at it and it wasn't working on hers, etc, and it was an all-around stupid situation. I think she got it to work. I swear. They must think I'm a total and complete idiot.

 

However, I would like to point out here that I've figured out a lot of difficult things on my own. I figured out a difficult credit thing yesterday. It was actually making the agent pay $50 more than she should. I figured out why and the cust. service person said that I shouldn't change that credit. So, I'm almost wondering if the $6 one is actually ok. That $6 one was slightly different than the others I've been changing. I don't know. Plus, yesterday my favorite cust. service guy who I love called after my shift was done and specifically asked for me to fix something for him. :) He is also the one who called about the product I fixed which then didn't work again. Hopefully he still likes me, hahaha. He has a hilarious voice mail message that always makes me laugh. I actually had it in my head today for some reason and was saying this guy's voice mail message over and over to myself.

 

This is really stressful.

 

We went out to lunch because my manager is leaving, and it was actually a lot of fun. I sat next to one of the project managers we have, who I think is one of the prettiest women I've ever met. I'm not a lesbian or anything, not that there's anything wrong with that, but she is just gorgeous. There are a few people I've thought that about. One is a TA I had in college and one is a woman at my church. I think that she might also think I'm a total tool though, too. I once had to ask her a question and totally, totally messed it up. I also made a dumb mistake once when doing something for her.

 

I wish I would quit making mistakes. This is what always plagued me at the library as well. I consistently do things and then find that they aren't done, or are done wrong or partially done wrong. As you can see by my previous anecdotes. Tom always used to tell me, "We're the type of people that are really good at figuring things out, but we're not so good at actually doing them." I think that's accurate (and a nice try to say "we" instead of "you"--one of the reasons I will love him forever). He always said I'm going to have to try harder at making sure I do things accurately and think them through. The thing is that I do...but my brain just cannot come up with circumstances where something is wrong. I'll sit there and think about how what I'm doing could go wrong, but everything seems fine. For instance, I'm looking through the site I'm working on right now, and everything is perfectly fine. I can't think of any conceivable thing that could be wrong. But I KNOW there is something. Just a minute ago I was going through with my boss and he found something right away that I forgot. I'd really like to be better at this, but it's nearly impossible to get my brain to do something it physically cannot do. It's so weird. And very troubling.

 

I hope that people don't see my mistakes as a major part of me. I don't doubt my habit of making them, but hopefully most people can see that I really try not to make mistakes. I think that other things make up for it, hopefully, like working fast and knowing what I'm doing. And generally figuring things out really well. That's probably my biggest redeemer, besides Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour--the fact that I can figure things out super well.

 

Anyway, we went out to lunch and it was fun. We discussed car accidents and the fact that I have never been pulled over, gotten a ticket, or had an accident. We also discussed alcohol and I felt out of the loop. We discussed "Dancing with the Stars" which I have not been following.

 

I don't know what the deal is but I've gotten so many compliments today. One or two were really funny. The coworker who said "I always check with the person whose store it is" said "I love your sweater! Where is it from?" I said, "Lane Bryant." She said, "I'll have to check that store out!" Which I laughed to myself about, because she is a tiny person. Haha. My manager, who is a guy, was raving about my earrings, which I thought was hilarious. He is a typical guy's guy and was just loving them and I even took them off so he could have a closer look. This other woman was like, "You look really nice today! And very different! Did you do something different?" I had not. I got a lot of compliments on my earrings. They're cool. I actually put on full makeup today which probably made me look 1,000 times better than usual.

 

Anyway, I think that's about enough for now. I've spent half an hour writing this and I think that is probably too much. Later.

I can't believe it

One of my coworkers was going to do hotline today and tomorrow because I covered for her last week Thurs. and Fri. But she called in sick today so I have to do it. That really sucks of her. You know, I could have called in too. I have the worst cramps that are making me want to die as they come back every 2 minutes or so. Yet I still come to work. She probably isn't sick at all. BOOOOOO!!!

Speaking of support line

I am about ready to start crying. I got a call this morning which I will explain. Thank goodness I don't have to do hotline for the rest of the week...today someone took over for me so I could finish other stuff, and this was my last day of the rotation.

 

Anyway this woman called from customer service saying and agent's saved projects had disappeared. Projects get saved every time you start one. They get deleted from "Saved Projects" when you add to the cart. So I asked if she had added to the cart. She hadn't. I guess the customer service person had been in there and the projects had disappeared while she was doing something. I personally think she's worried that she did it. Anyway, it became this whole convoluted mess that has lasted all day so far. I asked about 10 people what to do. I had to call back the customer service woman a whole bunch of times to get more information. Every person around here said something different until finally we decided that the agent was basically lying. The customer service person kept emailing me and saying the agent was irate and accusing us of "corrupting her entire computer." That's when I was about crying. I was like, I have no clue whatsoever about any of this, and I have absolutely no idea of what to do. Everyone was telling me there's nothing we can do, yet she's trying to get me to do something. Finally my boss just emailed her back and she was like "Thanks!" What the hell???????? I personally think that it was kind of rude to do that. My boss says that she just needed to hear it from someone higher up. Well, it's like a double standard...rail on the lower down people but don't accept what they give as a resolution. It was really hard on me. I guess it's not uncommon to have this type of situation, though.

Moment of realization

I just can't believe that I, Ms. Hate talking to people on the phone and Ms. Get nervous about everything, answer a support line. This is the strangest thing ever. I think that for the rest of my life I am going to be amused at myself that I at one time answered a support line.