Hey, shut up!

There is this girl in my group at the hospital that is so annoying (said in my best Chelsea Lately voice). She is the most pretentious, annoying, won't shut up person ever. She's 40 or so and she's been there maybe 4 or 5 times.

She is constantly talking about Buddhism and meditation. This in itself is fine, but I swear to God if he exists that I will never do anything with Buddhism just because this girl annoys me so much. That might be a little bit harsh, but I was there not long ago so it's fresh in my brain. Really the problem is that she says things in a way that implies her way is the correct way. "I always do this or that." It is really hard for me not to roll my eyes out of my head.

Here is an example. I was talking about sleep issues and I said that I have been trying to get to sleep without taking any sleep aid, because I've been taking sleep aids for a little over a year. She goes, "I always meditate before I go to sleep." What am I supposed to say to that? I know she's (probably) trying to help, but the way she said it didn't really leave any room for a response.

Then I was mentioning finding something to eat for lunch and she goes, "Make a sandwich on whole wheat or get organic pop-tarts." What the hell? She's on the Today Show now? Who says that? I didn't say anything about trying to find a healthy option. I just said I wanted to eat "something" because I keep on going into glycemic shock. What if I like rye better? Or what if I don't have $8 to spend on one pop-tart? Not to mention, I DIDN'T ASK FOR ADVICE! That just struck me as really weird for some reason, even though it isn't a huge deal at all. I am hyper-sensitive to everything she says, which is a lot, because she never stops talking, even during everyone else's turn.

She's sooooo annoying! The other day she was talking about some book she was reading and in my mind I was shouting "You are so full of shit!" I'm glad she's getting help and whatever, but my god. Can't you take my not-so-subtle hints that I don't want your advice to meditate, eat organic oats for lunch, and never watch television?

Today she got everyone into a discussion about crap like that, television and "stuff" and how young people in their 20s are stupid and don't value life. I really wanted to remind them that I am 26, but I didn't say anything. They're all in their 40s or older now, since some people have left. I actually got kind of offended by the discussion because of that and because they got into this territory of how people who believe in God are basically better. I didn't say anything about that either because I just didn't want to get into it. Also I didn't really know what to say.

I said at the time that I was annoyed and was going to write about it, so here I am.

They were all just talking about how spirituality (aka believing in God) makes their lives have meaning, and they don't understand how people who don't have meaning exist in life. The therapist was almost the worst one because he was talking about a group of younger people that he has, and they don't know what their purpose in life and he doesn't know how they are moving forward in life. I am not sure if he knows how old I am, because I'm the same age as that group. Everyone was like "I feel great when I pray" and "Praying gives me a purpose in life". Honestly, I thought it was all bullshit. Ok, I believe that it makes THEM feel good, and more power to them. But I do not understand a single solitary thing about feeling better by praying. The therapist said that "even atheists can understand" this thing we were talking about (A Deepak Chopra thing). In my mind I was like "Oh, even the lowly garbage of the earth atheists?" I really wanted to say "I'm an atheist" but I felt that a) I didn't want to be murdered, and b) I think I'm more of an agnostic, I guess.

Buddhist girl said something about how she's also Catholic and blah blah blah. Oh, she's going to the Zen Center in Stillwater this week. Whoop-de-do. Christ. Great that you're going, but just don't mention it every 27 seconds.

I don't know, I guess I just took offense to the implication that I don't or shouldn't have a reason to exist because I'm young and don't believe in God.

Another thing that's kind of related, that I have been thinking about recently is kids. Society is obsessed with kids and I feel like if you don't have kids you're shunned. A lady in my group was like "My meaning in life is my kids". The thing about that is, it's great and I actually really like that idea, but it's the reverse of it that gets me, when you DON'T have kids. At this point in my life, kids are nowhere on my radar and I keep feeling like I don't have a right to exist on the planet or something. Ok, so propagation of species is the #1 reason for existence, but as far as I know, we're humans and can ponder our existence, and we should be able to get past lame-o INSTINCTS.