so, sometimes i wonder what makes people feel certain really deep emotions. for instance, right now i love ben gibbard more than anything in the entire world. i have thought about this. i love him at this moment more than:
london
coldplay
tom
stargate
any band/music thing
you see? that's pretty deep. i love him more than london? wow. even i am surprised. but it is true. it is kind of a selfish love, though. not a "true" one, really. one that makes you say, "if i was just around him for the rest of my life, i would want nothing else."
and why? i don't know. i don't know the guy, i have never been less than 20 feet from him and have only seen him in person 3 (4? can't remember) times. but it's what he does. it is amazing the power musicians have over people. i bet a lot of them don't know it at all. like, does ben know there is this person out there who, because she has some kind of emotional defect, is considering him the center of her heart? actually, he probably does know that.
i would think it would be hard. for one thing, it's not like i personally can help loving ben gibbard. he just is. so i'm guessing that it's the same for other people, and i'm sure some of those have let him know their feelings. it's probably really weird and stressful. i don't know if i would like random people worshipping me as a god. i would feel always in the spotlight.
i guess it's probably the connection this person has with things in your life. like, you were listening to this song when blah happened. listening to stuff is very personal. and death cab...i have listened to death cab so much that i've probably heard every song 500 times, and spent 6 total months if you put it back to back, or something obscene like that, listening to them. i listen to death cab more than any other band, by far. and it is "in" me, if you will.
i wish i wasn't such a tool about these things. it would be much easier if i didn't freak out about shit constantly. but i do. and i happily love ben because he is ben, and i cry at a lot of live shows. so what?
it just goes to show you the power of words, and of sounds, and movements. you put the right words in the right locations and you can do anything. you put the right sounds together, you move. and that is it.
3 comments:
I think that this just shows how much you value sound/music. Obviously, your auditory senses are extremely acute. More than any other person I know, you abhor many cacophonous sounds and love music/pleasant sounds. So when you combine the appreciation you have of people who make beautiful sounds with the memories you have of those sounds (things that were ocurring while listening to those sounds, moments in your life that remind you of those sounds, etc) it gives you that "obsessive edge."
I mean, I like music and all and people who are able to compose great music amaze me, but I definitely am not as sensitive to sounds as you. Therefore, I never have been "in love" with a musician. Whereas you're the opposite...many people/things you love are musicians/bands.
I strongly believe that everybody has something that they absolutely love and therefore get obsessed with people/things that are related to that love. And, in turn, love them as well. Like a chain reaction, or something.
On a mildly connected note: I cannot get enough of the show The Amazing Race. I have determined it's one of the best shows EVER. I don't think I've ever been so emotional watching a tv show. It makes me incredibly happy when I watch it--so much so that I honestly cry at it (an I'm-so-happy" cry). It makes me feel a little pathetic, actually. But I think it's because it reminds me of a lot of things I love: Travel and places that have lots of history; being with someone you love (friends, fam, whatever); having fun and being excited (doesn't happen for me much in Korea); the host is a Kiwi. Etc.
Uhhh, yeah. That's all.
I was inspired by your raving of Death Cab. To my knowledge, I had never heard any of their music. So I got curious and downloaded their last 2 albums (sorry for ripping you off, Death Cab, but I don't know where to buy you in Pyeongtaek).
I really like them so far. Would I be competely out of line if I likened them to Jimmy Eat World? They sound kind of similar to me. Mind you, I've haven't spend a long time listening to them yet.
So far my favorite is Marching Bands of Manhattan. I was all excited that one of their songs had the name Sarah in it, but I have to say that it's one of my least faves thus far. So I thought I'd share about that.
Oh yeah- I really enjoy how the singer has a really good voice. That is definitely something I very much appreciate--I hate it when the lead singer has a not-so-good or annoying voice.
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