it seems that frequently when i'm writing in here it's pretty negative. i have tried to be as non-negative (aka positive) as possible, mostly because when i used to be on the coldplay message board every time i posted this particular person would always throw me under the bus because i was being negative. that affected me a lot.
but anyway, i'm feeling really bad again right now. i think that i might need help from you guys. like, a listening ear. for everything. i tend to hold back some things because i don't want to "bother" people. it goes back to the person who ultimately drove me away from the cp message board. even though that guy was a bit of a shit stirrer, i can't help but think he was just voicing what everyone else thought.
so i do need help, and pretty badly sometimes, in the form of people to listen to me, and care about things that are happening to me, and occasionally give me advice. it's way too much torment to try to just live some of these things out. and i know it may seem needy, and if i'm needy, so be it. i need help. i'm not going to go around freaking out if someone doesn't say hello to me, but i do need someone to listen to me.
the main problem is that i am too sensitive. i take things so seriously, and sometimes when a person means no harm whatsoever i can be affected for weeks and weeks. i have innumerable incidents i can relate where that happened. someone makes a comment, and for whatever reason it strikes me a certain way and i'm out of my mind for the next month and a half. the space bar does not work well on this computer.
so i'm not sure if my views on people are completely off,or if my way of handling people is totally off, or both, or more. whatever it is i'm completely sick of it.
the absolute last thing i want to do now is go to church. and guess what i have to do in 8 hours? go to damn church. i hate it. because i am satan and i rule over hell.
4 comments:
hail satan!
liz...you know you can call me ANYTIME! how about tonight? i'll be around all evening....i think!
i got to skip the church part his morning, and settled for breakfast afterwards, instead. oh, and i got to see owen.
a key thing to getting help is knowing when to ask for it and taking the steps to get it. some people can go their whole lives without ever asking for anything and i personally don't think that is anything to be proud of. everyone needs a support system of some sort.
I have the same problem about being sensitive. I get really bothered by criticisms and worked up by them. It will honestly put me in a funk for the longest time and I will ruminate about it. I want to learn to be less bothered about things. I was trying to learn to meditate and regulate my moods. I may still try to do it. It's a lot of hard work and I don't know if any of it is paying off. I do think that it does help some to talk to someone else about it, though, too. You can always call me, too, Liz, if you need to talk to someone. I know Sarah's awesome to talk to (I have some personal experience there...she always makes me feel better about things!), but you know, keep me in on the phone tree if you ever need to talk!
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