Teenage Neuroticism I

Here begins the first part of my trip down memory lane, via letters and diary entries from my preteen and teenage years.

This is going to be the section having to do with guy stuff, because that's the funniest section.

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In 6th grade my friends and I had this game we played, where we'd write all the boys' names on one side of a paper and fold it, and write all the girls' names on the other side. Apparently, those matches were supposed to be our true loves, or something. The one I kept was one where I was matched with a guy named Seth. That turned out well. Here's his myspace: http://www.myspace.com/skipig1 - looks like he's lost without me. :) But in reality, he couldn't be more opposite from me. I'd read off more of these matches, but I don't think anyone knows any of these people, so it wouldn't be that interesting. I don't even remember some of these people myself, which is strange.

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Also in 6th grade we had this "points system" (much, much tamer than the ones you hear about in high schools, hehe). Here is the points system as copied from a notecard:

Looking at them - 1
Eye contact - 4
Walk past them - 10
Talk to them - 20
Ride the bus - 100
He asks you out - 1,000,000
Write a note to them - 1,000
They write back - 1,010

I remember we would sit there all day trying to get eye contact with "them". I like how walking past a guy gets more points than eye contact. What a crock! That's simple!

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When I was 17 I had a "whirlwind romance" with this guy named Shawn. I bet none of you ever knew about this, did you! I found an email from him that is hysterical.

Subject: your so precious!
Message: Elizabeth, the guy stumbles into your lovely presence and takes your hand in marriage will be truly blessed! I don't think I will ever meet a person as true as you. You flatter me and flatter me some more. But I don't deserve it! You someone way better than me! Whatever it is in your heart that is making you fell sad, if it is boys not noticing you or the fact that they are so shallow. If they only knew what you were like they would melt. I love you Elizabeth. Your my angel, I'm so scrazy for you

That email is really confusing, but I'm sure I died when I read it at the time. Hahahaha

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I went through a phase of forcing people to write about my future (I did it for them too, of course). Here is one that Bidisha wrote for me. It was just about 10 years ago.

Liz,
We're watching a really boring video right now in French. It's so dumb. I thought I'd take this time to write down what I think you'll be like in 15-20 years. It'll probably be really wrong. I'm not too good at this. You are though. I like most of what you said about me. Okay, here goes: All right, you'll have a really professional job, maybe a lawyer or business woman. You'd have a big office, and it would be really neat and organized all the time. You'd have pictures of your husband and kids on your desk. Your husband would be a happy, cheerful guy. He'd have brown hair, and would be a little taller than you. He'd be funny, and a really good dad, always having fun with his kids. You'd be a good mom, but strict, with really high standards. Your house would be medium sized, in a nice neighborhood. You'd have two kids, who were really cute. Two girls or one girl and one boy. They'd look up to you. You'd help them with their homework. Your husband wouldn't be super romantic, but he'd give you flowers once in a while, and be crazy about you. He would always be able to make you laugh. Your job would be pretty stressful at times, and he would help you loosen up when you got home. Anyway, I should go, French ends in about 2 minutes. Bye!

Here are some questions that Melissa answered for me (I feel weird that I made her do this, but I'm pretty sure I did it for her, too).

What will it be like to be married to Elly?
I think Elly will find true love and not infatuation because she will think about her decision to marry that person. Elly's husband will be devoted to her and will be truly in love. Marriage - calm, nice, but also a lot of fun.

What kind of person will Elly marry?
I really do believe Elly will marry someone who cares for her. He will most definitely not be a player because Elly has so much to offer. He will be a little on the shy/timid side kind of like her dad. He will be very intelligent and will do little special things for Elly, like buying flowers or candy. He'll also be crazy, too. Funny. Nice. I made him seem boring, but that's not what I think at all. He'll be intriguing. Example: Elijah (honest, non-judging). Not Elijah, but someone like him - intelligent, yet funny. Sensitive? Maybe.

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Here are some diary entries.

1/3/93
All I want to talk about is Eric. I wonder what his new years resolution is if he has one. I wonder if he watches Nickelodeon. I wonder if he likes me. I wonder what his favorite TV show is. I can't stand it. I wish I looked prettier. Maybe I should give in more. I want to have a good personality and attitude. I hope I get asked out someday! Krista & Courtney & those people are taking it all!

1/4/93
Maybe Eric doesn't like Krista or Sara or Michelle. Eric never teases me but he's funny & at least talks to me! His friend Ryan said my reading folder was cool. He usually hates me! Maybe he told Eric. [HAHAHAHA!!!!]

1/19/93
We are going skiing today. I can't get over Eric! [Gigantic red heart]

3/24/94
I have liked Matt, REALLY!!! The other day Melissa asked him "would would you say if Elizabeth liked you?" and he said "I hate her!" Well why does he walk home with me and talk to me and come to my door? Melissa told me who she thinks likes him. I told him and he said "Oh."

5/15/94
I told Megan I liked Matt, I really really do! I wonder if he really hates me? [Apparently I got over Eric]

6/29/94
Why doesn't Matt like me?

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Here is something that's funny to me because I have no idea what it means. There is a piece of paper with my handwriting which reads:

I just wanted to let you know that that was honestly one of the most genuinely happy days of my life. Thank you for taking me along. I'll never forget it.

Well, I DID forget it...or at least forgot the connection between that sentence and the event. What could it be? Who was this writing meant for? Will we ever know?

h-o-l-y-s-h-i-t

Contrary to what you might think, that doesn't mean "holy shit" - it means "holy's hit". It's something that a bishop or cardinal does to someone who makes him angry.

 

This is going to be as vague as possible: I was at work late tonight, because at the last minute a guy called me and said, hey, we're having this problem. I told somebody about it, thinking it wasn't a big deal, and it turned out it was. I got so upset I started to cry. I felt really dumb because a guy was in my office trying to help me and I was upset and crying. That's not a fun situation to be in. He calmed me down a little and walked me through what to do. I think part of it was I've been working late almost every day for the past two weeks and having work on my mind all the time, and it was catching up to me more than I thought, and that thing was the last straw. The good part is that I've been learning a ton in my boss' absence. I feel like I've doubled my knowledge base just by being included on the issues that she usually does. Too bad I'm not that good with stress yet.

 

Yesterday Nate nonchalantly asked what I'm going to do with Daniel when I'm gone next week. And I'll be damned if I didn't completely forget. I am such a bad mom. :( No, I think I was just preoccupied. I'm either going to question L&M about whether they could check on him (so, get ready for that question, L&M), or take him to my dad's. My dad & stepmom were raving about how good Daniel looks. He really is a different guy since when I got him.

 

My car, driven by me, ran over a thing in the road that made a loud scrape and bang noise. I'm a little concerned about it. I didn't notice anything right away. Hopefully tomorrow morning the back wheels aren't off or something.

 

Well, I'm going to bed.

 

P.S. Daniel likes "The Avalanche"

Business cards

Here goes the story. Emily sometimes looks at this message board for Stargate in order to obtain information about the convention we are going to. The people that regularly visit this message board are in a league of their own, let me tell you. Last year they made it known who they were, and I assume this year will be no different. There is one particular girl named Erin, who at last year's get-together managed to get up in front of everyone and go "You probably all know who I am, but I'm Erin from the message board." So the other day Emily and I were looking around on the site and came across one of Erin's posts, and she had this as her signature thing:







Ok, so there are about 800 funny things about this, and I will list a few now. 1) A lot of people have these types of things on their accounts, and they are just funny by nature. 2) It's a really funny image. 3) It's a hysterical picture. 3.5) It's funny that they would label a trio of images as being representative of a hot archaeologist. That's like putting together a collage of books or something and labelling them "Books: Steeeeeamy things to read!" 4) Notice anything with the last word???

So after we laughed about that for a while, we thought it would be a funny idea if Daniel Jackson, if he were a real person, were to walk around with that image on a business card. Ahahaha, I'm starting to laugh about it now. "Daniel Jackson - HOTT Archaelogist. Nice to meet you."

Then we started talking, I think, about how recently the Russians put a flag on the ocean floor, and were wondering why they did that. I said it was because there is a Stargate there. We proceeded to talk about how the Russian government thinks that that show is completely fact. The funny thing is, the Russian government plays a part in the show, so they'd have to believe that things were being kept secret from them by themselves. Hehe. Then we remembered the Daniel Jackson business card and decided the Russian government officials would also have them (on lanyards, preferrably). We decided they would say "HOTT Rusian Poltician". So I looked up Russian politicians on Wikipedia and the first one I found was this guy:






















Meanwhile, Emily and I were sending each other emails as these guys, saying "If you ever need my services, feel free to contact me. Here is my business card." Mine said, "If you ever find yourself in the year 1750 in Russia, please contact me."






















I have tears coming out of my eyes looking at this cat one. See below for the explanation on the wheeled shade-bed kitty. Emily's email for that said "Meow meow meow meow business card" etc. I rec'd this picture at work and laughed so hard I was what you might call "whooping".















And this is my most recent one, the business card for Super Junior, a Korean boy band with a ton of members. Like my Photoshopping? I made it look as terrible as possible.

That probably wasn't funny at all, but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Klukkan er átta

I wonder what it is about certain things that make you remember them so clearly for your entire life? I'm not thinking too far back now...I was just thinking of my Icelandic learning and what I remember most from it. I remember whales (hvala) and I remember the unit on the movie Nói, myndin á Dagur Kari. Otherwise, what I kept in my brain most clearly was Sigur Rós lyrics. I just ran across an exercise about telling time and I couldn't even remember some of the numbers. It doesn't help that all the numbers have like 19 inflections. There's another exercise I remember pretty well because I've forced myself to do it about 5 or 6 times. It's about family members and where they are in the house. Hvar er Flossi? Flossi er úti. Ha, Flossi is a funny name. I think there's also a Bjossi in that one. Did I ever mention that the word for the United States is Bandaríkunum? What kind of word is that?

Here are a couple other "blog" posts I found that I thought were worth re-posting.

OE/Icelandic fun
Top 8 Most Hated Videos of Elizabeth

I think that I should do another countdown sometime. I haven't been around much stuff that I hate lately, which is nice. Maybe I could do a countdown of top 10 reasons I really don't like cleaning my apartment, or something.

Emily, do you think it would be interesting for people to learn about our business cards? I can't figure out if it would be funny or very uninteresting.

Laughing at self

Is it bad to sometimes laugh at things you write? I was just reading some old "blog" entries and some of them were funny. I guess, in a way, it's kind of like reading something I didn't write, because I don't remember it at all. Also, I find this to be a pleasant surprise, because as a younger person I always hated what I wrote. I credit Emily for helping my speech/writing. Her style has influenced me the most, I think.

Here's an entry I thought was particularly amusing, for some reason:

So
Some of you may be wondering what I've been doing lately, and the answer is not a fuckin' thing.
posted by Elizabeth @ 9:10 PM

Digestive systems suck

The other day I told DeAndre that I wish I didn't have a digestive system, and that comment launched us into this whole conversation about how we need digestive systems in order to live, and how that would be fine with me because it wouldn't hurt anymore, but he wouldn't have anyone to talk to anymore, even though I'd still be there, only without a digestive system. He's having a tough time lately due to some family stuff. He's been getting into arguments with work peeps. Today an incident happened with him and it turned pretty serious. The guy he argued with (ipod guy) came and talked to me for about 2 hours after D was gone. One of the developers came in at one point as well - we all had a really interesting conversation. We are all sort of in different niches, so it was cool to see different points of views on issues. Anyway, my boss keeps being gone when these conflicts happen. I don't know if I am supposed to deal with them in her stead or what. I went and apologized to the offended parties, and I guess that's all I can do.

All that drama took up so much time at the end of the day that I couldn't catch up on emails. I was doing fairly well with that, too. Last week I was pretty on top of everything, but for some reason yesterday and today I fell off the ball. Ah shit, it's getting late again. I'm all askew sleep-wise...only got 5 hours last night and then took a nap tonight. Why do I do these things to myself? Well, because it's very uncomfortable to be sleepy, I guess.

Pictures of Daniel

God, leave me alone...























This was while Emily and I were playing some cat noises on the computer.


























A pod with a tail























That white thing is one of my blinds that fell off. I just tossed it on the ground and at first Daniel jumped in and sat there. I didn't get a picture in time, so all day long Emily and I were trying to get him to go back in there. We said things like "Why don't you like your teardrop-shaped shade bed? It's comfy!" Then it got shortened to "Shade bed!" So we were yelling "Shade bed!" all day long. Finally Emily got him to go back in there and I got these pictures. She also thought this was funny because the tennis ball looks like Daniel has a wheel instead of front legs.


















Shade bed


















What do you want???


















I asked what you wanted!!

Wind Damage

This is the deciduous tree I mentioned, which is blocking the parking lot at my office. Great...now there are even less spaces in the already full lot.


















This is a vague picture of some damages in the park. I took it while driving, which explains why it isn't that great. Don't worry, I was sitting still in traffic.


















This is a tree in front of Quality Tool, which is across from my apartment complex. I love that it's called Quality Tool.


















A tree on my street


















The spruce trees also blocking the parking lot at work


















Same spruce trees

















This is a picture from twincities.com of two of the trees in Como Park.

Stuff

I went and bought some new clothes today at LB. There was a 40% off sale so the total was only $115.

There was a bad storm the other night (70 mph winds), and Emily and I saw a bunch of wind damage nearby. There was a shed or something on Snelling across from the fair entrance that was totally destroyed because a tree fell on it. At my work, 3 giant spruce trees (like 50 feet tall) were completely uprooted, and another big deciduous tree was broken off at the root and laying in the road. I have some pictures I'll put on here later. Emily: today I drove a different way, through Como Park, and there are HUGE trees completely broken in half (100 feet tall or more). It's insane. I tried to take a couple of pictures, but I don't think I got much. The traffic was backed up a long way because one of the stop lights was all weird and not ever doing a left turn arrow, and one street was closed off. I should see if I can find some pictures online. Those trees in the park were insane. I wonder if some of them were hit by lightning. It kind of looks like it.

Stepmother

My stepmother has a malignant lump on her breast. So far they think it hasn't spread. It's weird, I don't know what to say to her/my dad. I just told them I was thinking of her. She has to have surgery and radiation treatment.

Is it weird that I find this picture really sexy?

Different subject: Nate told me that this one song on Neon Bible (Intervention) makes him feel like everything is right in the world, no matter what's going on. I think that is so interesting and made me really happy. I may have mentioned in this blog or elsewhere that I think it's one of the best songs ever written. We had a little discussion about that song and how it's so uplifting yet about a sad subject. I want to talk about it more tomorrow.

!

Craigslist guy said my wandering eye was strangely sexy. Should I be worried??! I'm not, I'm strangely flattered by it.

Bebe

See the stripes? Isn't that weird? It's only in certain lighting.

Stuff

I am in charge at work this week. I never thought in a million years my boss would choose me, but she did. So I am preparing for a huge amount of stress and questions I can't answer. On Saturday I worked from home and discovered this potentially huge problem. I tried emailing some people, but who works from home on Saturday? Naturally, nobody answered. I did what I could, though. People will find a surprise tomorrow morning. I hope I don't get in trouble (I don't see why I would). I had Nate listen to Sigur Rós the other day. He recognized it from Life Aquatic. Ipod guy had his annual review and didn't get a raise because of some loophole. I told him to contact HR about it, because he and I suspect it's their boss cutting corners and hoping nobody notices. There is no reason he shouldn't get a raise. Everyone else did, and he is a better employee than everyone else. One of Nancy's "friends" did this weird thing at work the other day and she got really pissed at him. I thought it was hysterical, but she was fake mad all day. I wish I could explain further, but it's too boring and I might fall asleep.

Daniel's hair looked really good today. I took some pictures. He has prominent stripes now. I'm not sure why. I don't know if I just didn't notice before, or what. I'm too lazy to put them on here now. I swear he was trying to talk to me the other day. That was hilarious. On facebook I put some pictures of him in a "pile" of 2 toys. What other stories? I don't know.

I found some contenders for outfits. Nothing that was what I imagined in my mind, but that's ok. I'm not sure my outfit would actually work with the laws of physics.

I selled me Lost DVDs...$35 in me pocket! Unfortunately, they cost $50...

Craigslist guy went to southeastern SD this weekend to play a show. Can you imagine that car ride? That has to have been like 12 hours. Ooh, bridezillas is on.

I guess I'm not going to Ryan Adams :(

The tickets have sold out and I ain't about to pay out my ass AGAIN for tickets. Plus, I can't find only one. What's up with people only selling or buying 2 or 4 tickets? I couldn't sell my AF ones (3 of them) and decided to give them to my sisters for their birthdays. One of them can bring a friend. blue blee blea blaa

 

I ain't like goin ta work tomorra

Halloween, Alaska

Just heard them on the radio and I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of DCFC. Then I just read that they were on the O.C. and that reminded me even more of DCFC. Can't wait to hear more.

little children

just watched that movie. christ, i don't even know. i guess i would characterize it as pretty depressing.

I wish I was a designer

as in clothes. i'm obsessed right now with trying to find a top with these requirements: wrap (real, not faux), ruching, long, kind of form fitting, not sleeveless, and a huge amount of fabric for the tie. i have it in my brain but i can't find anything :( the closest i found were 3 things at nordstrom.com but i'm not completely blown away by them.

 

i went to sephora and spent $85 *vomit*

 

i need to find something for my sisters for their birthdays but i have no idea whatsoever to get. i don't even know where to start. ughhh. i have 13 DAYS AND COUNTING

 

i think i know what i'll be doing all day tomorrow.

Exercising

I restarted my exercise routine on a good foot...2.11 elliptical miles! :)

Tire Be Broke

Sunshine

Sarah had a ball making fun of me last night because of this movie. Yes, it's a science-fiction-y premise (and there is no romance story, so according to her no girl will like it ;) ). But it has an excellent story and is very well-written and directed, and has great music. I think the nature of the movie explained what people went to see it. There were at most 40 people there or so, and at least half if not 2/3 were single guys. It was hilarious. I was the only single girl, and the rest were couples.

 

Geez Sarah...I already feel like a social outcast because I like science fiction! ;)

 

Anyway, I don't even know that it would be classified that. Here's what the movie was about. It's set in the future and the sun is dying and causing a solar winter on earth. So this set of 8 people go on a mission to "restart" the sun (I don't know how this is supposed to work, but whatever). They are the second group (there was already a group that went and disappeared). So at some point they find the disappeared first group near the sun, and the movie is pretty much about what happens when they find the first group, and all these things happen that they have to fix while still getting the "payload" into the sun. It was extremely suspenseful and emotional.

 

So that's that!

The best movie I've ever seen + a rant on bikers

Holy fucking shit. Sunshine. That movie was...inexplicable. I guess you can deduce the effect it had on me by the following. When I left the theater I was shaking, almost crying, and couldn't breathe properly for at least 15 minutes. I can't even talk about what it was about, I don't even know. Holy shit. I think it changed my life or something. Holy shit.

 

Now the rant on bikers. Ok. I know that a lot of times they don't have a proper place to bike. I'm fine with that. I mean, it upsets me, but I understand they can't do anything about it. However, can they not follow some sort of traffic rule? They don't follow pedestrian rules or car rules. Hey everyone, I figured out how you can get around the law. Just ride a bike! Fuck, I was so pissed off driving home because there were 7,000 bikers that each were taking up the entire right lane (if there was one). News: when you're in uptown, not to mention uptown which has every road torn up for construction, you don't even have enough room for your car, not to mention your car + extra space for some biker who shot through the intersection. I mean, when they do that you not only have to move over once, you have to move over 5 times because every time you are stopped at a stoplight they pass you again and then it all starts over. There was this lady that I passed at least 5 or 7 times. I was very nearly going to roll down the window and yell something (I would never do that). I was stopped at a light where the cross road was a busy 4 lane road with a median and she just shoots through it without a thought. That's how accidents happen...have bikers never driven around when bikers are around? Do they know how annoying it is when you have to keep passing them? UGHHHHH. Why is there not a biking traffic law?

Shows I am thinking of going to

Here are some shows I am thinking of going to. Let me know if you want to go to any of them. If not, I'll probably go alone anyway for at least two of them.

 

Ryan Adams 9/27 state

Cinematic Orchestra 9/21 fine line

The Sea and Cake emily's birthday varsity

Interpol 10/12 state

 

Mixed in there is Arcade Fire on 9/30. I actually have 6 tickets for that due to some kind of weird circumstances. Well, they are actually circumstances of me being partially stupid and partially over-cautious. So if 3 more people want to go and sit in a slightly worse section than me, Laura, and Michael, feel free.

 

I'm going to see Sunshine tomorrow (alone, too, but I'm excited)

 

A semi-funny thing happened at work this week. I ain't feel like writing about it now.

 

I have spent way too much money lately. Mostly it's for things such as car trouble. My car started to die tonight when I was driving from Rochester back home. It was creepy. Do you know that Highway 52 is the shittiest night driving road in the U.S.? I was scared out of my mind driving home (and always am). There are no reflectors, no street lights, and no towns or anything, so it's like "go by the 2 lines in front of you that you can see". Also, there were no cars on my side (plenty on the other side, which sucks). I flashed my brights at one guy because I was literally blinded and had to stop. Shortly thereafter is when the car's interior lights went off. I freaked and pulled over but everything seemed ok. Then when I got home I parked in the FREE ramp next to my building. Note FREE. I wanted to do that a) so that I could see the exterior of the car to check for damaging (because it's well-lit) and b) so the car would be in shade tomorrow. As I drove in there was a police car in there and he questioned me about whether or not it was ok for me to be there. WTF...is there nothing better for this guy to be doing than parking in a remote parking ramp with no cars in it and bothering an innocent-looking girl who just wants to get a look at her car for damages? Apparently not. Well, ok, there have been reports of car break-ins here lately but whatever. Like that guy was here because of that. I'm writing a letter to someone about Highway 52 because I have never felt ok driving on that road at night. They at least need reflective paint. That can't be that hard to do.

 

In the first 5 minutes of me being home, Daniel clawed a hole in my favorite jeans and knocked my phone on the ground for the 10th time. He went right back in his room.

I cain't catch a break

I have really had shitty luck lately, it seems. Well, that's not entirely true. I've had a lot of situations that are catastrophically bad mixed in with normal or good situations. What I mean is that there are situations that are bad, and there are situations that are so upsetting that they make my skin feel like it's peeling off. That happened the other day with my tire. Apparently that's the physical reaction I get when I'm extremely upset. I got that today. Waaaahhhhhhh. I'm way too emotional. And the weird thing is, I haven't encountered a situation yet that's made me any less emotional. I've been through some seriously shitty shit, and I'm exactly the same. I'm slightly better at HANDLING it, but I still definitely feel it all.

I need food. Blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

Wow

What a great day. We saw Jimmy Eat World tonight and I loved it. I forgot how good Jim is at performing. And they played a ton of my favorite songs.

Time for bed.

fuck

What a day.

Today I went up to St. Cloud for a party. It was a work party with mostly people from St. Cloud. The party was actually really great. However, as I was leaving I noticed that the car was very loud. So I stopped, and noticed that my front left tire had blown out. SWEET! I called my boss who had also just left and asked for help. She said she would drive me home. So I started to drive back to the guy's house that the party was at, and I couldn't make it...the car sounded so bad. So I stopped and walked (it was about a block). He then drove me to my car and changed the tire to a hidden tiny one that was in the trunk (I in my infinite wisdom never knew it was there). Everyone agreed that it wouldn't last all the way home so I had to leave it there and my boss drove me home. The tire was completely destroyed. What the fuck did that? There are parts completely missing. I was driving like 20 mph for about 3 blocks on it. So now tomorrow I have to either make Emily go with me to St. Cloud, or make my dad come up here and take me there. UGH.

I got a letter today containing a $250 voucher for US Airways. What the fuck am I going to do with that now? I'm sort of pissed off at that now too. I mean, it's an insanely nice thing to get, but YOU KNOW.

Stuuuuuuff

The other day I was washing dishes and a precariously placed stack fell on the ground. It scared Daniel to death (which is nice for me because he doesn't bother me in the kitchen as much anymore). The worst part was 4 plates and 1 bowl broke. And I can't get that design anymore and I loved it. :( Oh well, at least I didn't have to wash them. I hadn't washed dishes for a while because...well, I just hadn't. I needed to let my apartment go for a while. But it's gettin' better.

I got a pen tablet for my computer today with my Best Buy gift cart. I am excited! It also came with a cordless mouse. Right after I recently bought a new mouse...and I also have a wireless desktop that was $70 but works like shit.

The epiphany I had last weekend was as follows. I was feeling pretty bad at the beginning of the weekend, and finally I got to the point where I was like "this weekend isn't about me, I need to get over this." What ended up doing it for me is how nice all of Jake and Candy's friends were. I already know my own friends are nice, so that didn't surprise me. It was so great to be around people, especially guys, who weren't jackasses. It really made me happy. I found myself having a LOT of fun and feeling genuinely happy, which I haven't felt for a long time. On the way home, I was listening to the new Ryan Adams album for some reason, and one of the songs hit me in a certain way, and I decided I want to play it at my wedding. And I realized, I should be able to play this song, and I will play it, and be happy about it. And everyone will be happy, and nobody will be like "what's this shit" because they are my friends and they love me. So basically that's what went on in my head...just the realization that there are truly wonderful people all over the place, and I am surrounded by them all the time.

So, feelin' good!

I poichased Daniel a new toy today and he played with it for about 3 hours. That's the most successful new toy yet! At one point he managed to get all of his toys out in the hallway and he had plopped down on his side in the midst of them. It was hilarious. I wish I had taken a picture. He looked like one of those guys in stories that are passed out in the middle of a huge banquet of food, or something. Haha. "Holy shit, I just can't play anymore..." *pass out*

Sunshine

I need to see the movie Sunshine as soon as it comes out on July 27...anyone want to go?

Wed-ding

Candy and Jake's wedding was a blast (besides being very gorgeous and on a great day, etc). Most/all of the people who'll ever read this were there as well, so I'll spare you the details in that regard, but I can give you my impression, for what it's worth. The first one of my close friends to actually get married! It was kind of surreal that way. I had the greatest time at the reception. Sarah and her one night stand also had a great time. ;) I had sort of an epiphany that night and this morning, which I don't know if I can word quite yet, but I'll definitely go into more detail later. Alls I can say is I cried genuinely happy tears this weekend, which is something I haven't done in a while and I'm so grateful. I'm a new person! On to looking at my pictures!

Dress

I got this dress, hopefully to wear to the wedding. (Obviously I will have to find some kind of sweater to wear with it...I don't do sleeveless). I LOVE it.

Ok, time to stop procrastinating and start packing. Philadelphia tomorrow.

Gross subject

Be warned.

Ok, so it is "that time of the month" right now, and it's the worst I've had in a long time, maybe ever, as far as volume of liquid goes. What the hell? I don't know how any more blood can be left in my body. Why would a uterine lining be so much thicker than usual, I wonder? I should look that up. How much blood is in the human body? Probably a lot more than I think. They always say some ridiculous amount for "that time of the month" like a tablespoon or something. I'm going to look this subject up now.

35 mL is average...I cannot think of what that is like. Ok. Yes, that seems ok. 10-80 mL is considered normal. I looked up heavy flow and there was stuff about cancer and stuff, which I don't think is it. I think it's just random.

I had a dream about this guy I work with (incidentally, he is Bangladeshi). I have been talking to him a lot lately for whatever reason, probably because we work similar hours. It was really awkward for me to see him after that dream. He just came in here to make fun of me or something and my mind was confused. Also, I was really worried he was going to ask me a question and would spot the "Menstruation" wikipedia article that was minimized on my taskbar. :S

One time he mentioned that his nickname is Mr. BMW (Bangladeshi Man Working). I thought that was hysterical.

I'm goin' home, dudes.

Cool

My dad said yesterday that he has pre-diabetes. Cool. That means for sure that it runs on both sides of my family. My dad's sister and my mom's dad have full-blown diabetes. Now my dad has pre-diabetes, and my mom had gestational diabetes. They want to get me tested for it. Ugghhhhh. God, seriously what is up with all the medical stuff lately?

 

We went to see my grandma today. She's doing well. Pretty quiet, but she seemed normal. She had a library of material from the hospital and about 10 different prescriptions.

Scary

My dad told me today that my grandma had a stroke last weekend. Luckily, she was with my aunt, so she got to the ER right away. She lost some memory and speech ability. But my dad said she's pretty much ok. It's so lucky she wasn't alone or driving. It could have been a lot worse. She lives by herself, so it's scary. I am hoping they can arrange for someone to be with her for a while. I don't know if this makes her more prone to another stroke. I hope not. She has really bad rheumatoid arthritis too. That scared me a few years ago when it started to get bad. I think I am going to go down there this weekend and help with moving stuff around her house or whatever needs to be done. I'm going to take my kitty, who can meet Toby. :D

Ok, I'm dumb

Never mind that last thing. As my coworker gently reminded me, the month is on a separate part of the license plate.

Interesting

Those of you who have a car: Did you notice that the license stickers for this year don't have a month listed on them? I find this interesting. How will cops know when to pull cars over?

god damn

please don't tell me i am sick again...i started having bad stomach aches on monday. it hasn't gone away yet. i hate this. am i never going to get better from anything?

Lost

Spoiler alert.

 

In the past couple of weeks I have watched the entirety of Lost. I agree with recent reviews that say the show has gone downhill in the third season. I really couldn't care less if Ben was ever on the show again. He is a terrible and annoying character. I understand I'm supposed to hate him, but what I don't like most is his acting and the dialog he has. It's just not good. How many times can he do the exact same thing? A lot of the characters are getting tiring. Sawyer is at least showing different sides of himself. But the rest of them? Yawn.

 

The season finale was dumb. I hated the entire thing. It wasn't really a cliffhanger (which, I guess, is fine). And why did they make Charlie die? Let's hope he didn't really die somehow. Ughhhhhhh. I hated it. The whole season was just kind of boring. all I can say is I hope that it gets better.

 

Season 2 was really good. When I was watching that, I was crying practically constantly, and I thought the writing was really good. What happened?

 

Emily: as for the polar bear, I still think it has to do with them just experimenting with having bears on the island (i.e. the bear cages). I guess I don't know why they'd do that or why they got out, though.

The single best thing ever

Y'all know how much I hate people changing lanes without using their signal? Check out this thing I just read. It's a column by W. Bruce Cameron, about what he would do if he was rich. http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/bruce-cameron/when-i-m-rich.html

 

I'll also have General Motors take a break from laying off its entire workforce and build me a special automobile with a hidden compartment in the front. Whenever someone cuts in front of me without using a signal, I'll push a button and the compartment will open and a motorcycle cop will drive out and arrest the person. On the cop's day off, I'll settle for a torpedo.

 

 

Good afternoon

Long time no write. I'm sorry I said that. I haven't been in a writing mood.

 

I went to the doctor today for a physical. It was actually a physical plus pap smear. Wooohooo. That's always the most comfortable thing you can possibly think of. I have a guy doctor. What I thought was interesting and forward thinking of them is that he brought in a girl nurse while doing the ob/gyn stuff. I wonder if that's a law. If anything, it will prevent possible issues. Not with me, I don't care (I feel comfortable because I've seen enough Seinfeld shows or whatever that cover guy ob/gyn doctors[we all know television is accurate, obviously]), but you know. I was just thinking that they make very certain when you call that the doctor is a guy. I wonder what circumstances would cause someone to agree with that but still be uncomfortable. Maybe time constraints. The girl doctors are very booked up.

 

Anyway, it was a good visit. It's always nice to get all that stuff worked out, and at only $20.00 because of insurance. I didn't know it was possible, but I got the HPV vaccine. I thought that was interesting. I hope it doesn't cause issues later in my life. It's very new, but everyone has nothing but good to say about it (except that they don't want to give it to 12-year-olds). I say I didn't think it was possible because I thought you had to be 12. But apparently they go up to 26.

 

He gave me a referral for my eye. I'm kind of scared to go because I don't want them to say I can't fix it. I hate my eye. But right now at least I have hope it can be fixed.

 

I am also supposed to go in for various blood tests. Whew...don't I feel healthy. I wonder if it's nice to be a doctor because you feel all the time that you have everything taken care of.

Awesome

I have a UTI.

Trip

My trip was good. I miss my boy.

New Kit Pictures

The infamous floating head (not as good as it sometimes is, but you get the idea)



















Totally conked out, but still ready with the fangs if need be



















Gorgeous fur after the bath!!!

My kitty is so good

So, Daniel got himself dirty today (you-know-what matted into the hair on his butt) so a bath was necessary. With the tips I got from coworkers, I gave him a bath and it went wonderfully!!! He only meowed a tiny bit and he didn't move around at all. I was so proud and gave him a lot of love and treats for being so good.

 

Last night I was trying to calm him down and ended up cradling him like a baby. It's hard to describe the position but I basically cradled him to sleep. It worked well, I guess.

 

As I have been telling everyone, he found his way up into the windowsills with the vertical blinds. If I call him, he'll poke his head through the blinds so that it's just a floating head. :D It's my favorite thing ever. I took a picture and will see later if it looks ok.

Stuff

My cat is insane. I need to find out if I can make him stop licking himself. I have been around cats before and they do not do it 24 hours a day. It's starting to really piss me off. As are my idiot neighbors upstairs.

 

I was wearing my black long coat and sunglasses yesterday with my hair down, and a couple of coworkers said "You look like a movie star!" That was funny.

 

I don't like this blog right now. In fact, I don't like anything. Especially my cat's constant licking.

Isolation

I wonder why it is I feel so isolated sometimes. This idea is something I come back to so often. Just that I as a person somehow fall through the cracks of society, or something. I feel like I'm a pleasant enough person, but in the scheme of things not dynamic or charismatic or friendly or whatever enough to really make an impact. I'm getting pissed off now so I'm going to stop.

Daniel is a character. I wanted to recount some of the things he does for your reading pleasure.

He loves to be petted. When I am petting him, he purrs vigorously. He rolls all around insanely and rubs against me like crazy. He will crawl in my lap sometimes, too. His favorite position for petting/rubbing is with his head and paw on my leg (see picture). He will frequently flop over on his back while in this position. Today he did that so vehemently that he fell off the futon twice. I laughed really hard.

If petting ceases, he will butt my hand with his head (like a dog!) He will also stand up and butt my face with his face, or say "Mrrrow! Mrrrrow!" Sometimes he playfully bites, but the vet said that was not good and to ignore him if he did that because eventually he'll bite harder. That seems to work.

His favorite sleeping places are on flat surfaces on his side. If he is near me he always puts his head and/or paws on my leg (see other picture). I think that's interesting. He doesn't really like enclosed spaces. He finds the most open spot possible and will sprawl out there. So much for all the spaces I prepared for him. He also doesn't really like to go up high. He will jump up on some things, but those are things I previously put him on.

When I go to bed he usually climbs next to me. It is the most stereotypically cute thing ever - he puts both paws around me and scoots himself so his head is by my head. What would make a cat do that? It's so interesting. Very human-like.

He absolutely loves being combed and brushed. I swear he's like that model polar bear at the zoo. "Look at meeee! I am so pretty!" Haha. What a ham. He just prances around and looks around like "I'm pretty and I know it."

Usually if I'm not around for a while or if he forgets about me or something, and I appear, he absolutely freaks out. "Meow! Meow! Meow!" Then he runs around after me for a few minutes or I pet him, depending on what I feel like. In that sense he's like a dog, too. "Pay attention to me!!!" It is actually really nice. Someone is REALLY happy to see me.

He likes to make a lot of Mrrrow noises for various reasons. Usually it seems to me like they are "What's going on?!?!?! I want to know the situation!!!" And the secondary reason is probably "Pay attention to me!" A tertiary reason is "Whoa, I almost fell asleep!" As he's falling asleep he wakes up probably 5 times and goes "Mrow!" and looks around for a second before finally going to sleep.

He likes this ping-pong ball that has a thing inside it that makes it rattle. Yesterday I saw him hiding from it and then pouncing on it. That was hysterical.

It's funny because he gets crazy about some things, like seeing me and canned food, but other things he could care less about. Like catnip. "Meh," he says. Is Daniel really a dog? I mean, it's catnip.

Oh, here's something that bothers me. He is a "heavy licker" as my friend Nancy says. Probably 75% of the time he's awake is spent licking himself. Also, I don't know what the deal is, but he produces a huge amount of waste. I wondered for a minute if it was the canned food. The vet said to give him that because he'd be more likely to eat it a) if he has a cold, since he could smell it better - she said he might develop one soon (apparently she could tell), and b) because he's in a new place. But I didn't give him canned food for a couple of days and there was still the same amount of waste product. Whatever, man.

The vet said he still had ear mites so I gave him the medicine. Here was the medicine process: pour a tiny vial of liquid on his back. What the hell? Well, whatever. If it works, it works.

So there's that. I hope you enjoyed it.

Introducing Daniel F. Baker

Daniel Finnegan Baker - so if you think you know why I named him that, you're probably wrong. It was a weird process that I can't really explain, and it doesn't have to do with my coworkers, Stargate, or previous conversations about bicycles. However, if you thought that I named his last name Baker because that's my last name, you'd be correct.

I eventually removed Daniel from the windowsill and discovered he is extremely affectionate and loves attention. I combed about a handful of hair out of him (he loved it and looks great now) and tried to bathe him. Tried is the key word there...I got a good scratching for that (should've known).

They gave me his medical "history" (since they've had him). Apparently he's only been there for a month. They neutered him at the shelter, cleaned his ears, and treated him for fleas and a tapeworm (the tapeworm was like 5 days ago) (and there was a note that he had a great many burrs when he arrived). I was so excited about that tapeworm thing (sarcasm) but apparently it should be ok. I think he might still have a flea problem. I've been trying to look but I can't seen anything. He just keeps biting his skin. However, it was more prevalent after I tried to bathe him and only on the spots where he's wet. So maybe that's just bothering him.




















"Ahhhhhhhhhh...I finally get to stretch out and relax"




















More stretchin' and relaxin'




















"I kind of look like a mini lion."




















The "cat sofa" (I'm not sure why it can't be called a cat bed)

Kitty's here!

He meowed a lot of the way home and then when I let him out he was like "what the hell is this place?!?!?!?!" Then he figured out that he likes sitting on the windowsill and has been sitting there since we got here. Hehe. I'm sure I'll have a million stories and pictures soon.

Kitty

Today Emily went with me to the Humane Society (because I was nervous) to start the adoption process of a cat. Here's the kitty!!!!!!!! I get to pick him up on Tuesday! He looks kind of scruffy there, but he is gorgeous. :) When we saw each other, it was love at first sight.

I hope it doesn't seem impulsive - in reality, I've been thinking about it for 2 years or something. You may remember a while back when I actually bought food, a litter box, and litter, and was very nearly going to adopt a cat that was in St. Paul. So to me, it wasn't really that impulsive. Emily offered to go with me and I thought to myself that I'd never, ever do it unless someone was with me, and in general I just felt very good about it and had an insight that it was "right". Just in case you wondered. :)

god dammit

I hate it when things go wrong. For instance, today one of my bags was left at Target. Now I have to go get it or whateverrrrrrrrrr. UGH.

Another strange effect of exercise

I have lately decided to move up my daily exercise time from 30 minutes to either 45 or 60, as much as I can. Today I did 45. I've only been able to do 60 a couple of times. Anyway, as I am not an athletic person, I've noticed weird effects from this amount of exercise. Today it was some weird thing in my legs. When I sat down afterwards, it felt like there were a million explosions happening all over inside my legs. I think it might be blood re-pumping into everything. It actually felt nice. I needs me some popcorn. Can I eat something besides that................peanuts I guess.............FINE I'LL HAVE PEANUTS EVEN THOUGH I DESPERATELY WANT POPCORN

Sweet

I'm glad that news email worked. Here is a blog I just found by the girl who plays Kelly on The Office. I love it because it's all about stuff she buys and sometimes I do that on here.

http://mindyephron.blogspot.com/

BBC E-mail: The battle to stay sane in space

Elizabeth saw this story on the BBC News website and thought you
should see it.

** Message **
This looks sooooooooooo good. And 'tis starring one of my favorite actors!

** The battle to stay sane in space **
Director Danny Boyle explores the psychological effects of space travel in new film Sunshine.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/entertainment/6516499.stm >

** BBC Daily E-mail **
Choose the news and sport headlines you want - when you want them, all
in one daily e-mail
< http://www.bbc.co.uk/email >

** Disclaimer **
The BBC is not responsible for the content of this e-mail, and anything written in this e-mail does not necessarily reflect the BBC's views or opinions. Please note that neither the e-mail address nor name of the sender have been verified.

If you do not wish to receive such e-mails in the future or want to know more about the BBC's Email a Friend service, please read our frequently asked questions. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/help/4162471.stm

Update

They had to end the pregnancy. It's really sad. The guy said his wife really wanted the child. :(

Bad idea

Today one of my coworkers said, "Sorry if I'm a little out of it today...I just found out my wife is having an ectopic pregnancy."

Response from another person? "They're going to have to abort the baby."

Who fucking says that??? I felt like crying and I have only known him for 2 weeks.

Lesson: Don't ever say that to anyone, anyone, anyone, UNLESS you are an obstetrician and you've done extensive analysis on this person and have decided that that's the action you need to take.

Can you imagine?

2 pictures from my drive

St. Croix
















St. Paul

I <3 Saddle Creek Records

I just rec'd a package today - my pre-ordered Bright Eyes album!!! It actually comes out in a week and a half. Here is why I love Saddle Creek.

 

- They send out preorders 2 weeks early.

- They sent 3 Bright Eyes stickers

- Included in a pre-ordered B.E. album was a tiny, adorable B.E. single (A 3-inch CD complete with its own jacket). Hee Hee!

- Every time I've ordered from them I've gotten a handwritten note saying thanks. That is so nice.

- The album already is incredibly cool. It is all jumbly on the front and inside there's a decoder which you use to view the pictures. That is so cool. And, it has the most beautiful booklet.

 

Oppositely, I am waiting for a certain thing I ordered on March 16 which hasn't arrived. Very unprofessional of this company. >:(

In Style!

I went shopping today. Bad idea. Who knew that Penneys had such cool stuff. Actually, marketing worked on me for once. I saw an ad in my InStyle magazine and had to have it. I feel ashamed. But it was only $20.

I also purchased another top that's similar colors. I can't find a picture of it. It's another sleeveless one. Let's just say I'll be making good use of my brown sweater.

I also got some makeup stuff, as I became extremely frustrated this morning with my attempt at foundation. I think I got some good stuff. Yay! And that is quite enough spending for now. Christ.

I feel so smart and enterprising!!!

So, for the past like 6 months or something I've been working on a proprietary software for my own website, for me, just to make everything much easier to manage. It is very like what we use at work, but infinitely more simple.

 

Today I finally got it to a place where I felt like I could push it into production. I am SO proud!!! Here is the "press release" I put on my site.

 

As promised, I would like to introduce the beta version of my new software. The working title is ColdTour. That's just what I thought of.

Today I released ColdTour version 0.9, a beta version. Things will seem basically the same for end users, but it's a million times better on the development end.

This release only includes review submissions. The most important functionality I have implemented is a 2 business day turnaround for review postings.

One thing I have removed for the time being is email notification. If you want to be notified when your review is posted, please contact me.
I hope this will be a great step forward for this site.

 

I also thought of some other ideas for the site that are really going to get me out of my rut. I am really happy. And I can't believe I was finally able to complete this giant thing, and give it a name (albeit kind of dumb), and a version, and everything. Yay!!! Mostly I'm just really relieved it's going well, because I feel it will continue to be a very good thing for my personal portfolio, and even just to keep my brain working hard.

Style

I just discovered a show on the Style network called "Style Her Famous." It's hosted by Jay Manuel (of "Top Model" fame). I had no idea he is a makeup artist. He does the make up on this show and it's insane! It's so good. Tomorrow they're doing a Gwyneth Paltrow-inspired show and I'm psyched!!! I can't wait to see what they do with her skin - I think that'll be fun to learn. I've only seen 2 episodes so far but I've already learned a ton.

 

In related news, I subscribed to InStyle magazine. I'm excited about that too.

Coldplay and some other things

I was looking at the Coldplay website (official one) today and remembered how much I like them.

I am listening to some music now and feel soooooooo great. I wish this song lasted hours.

Telegram

RESPONDED TO JOHN STOP

WILL ADVISE WITH NEW DEVELOPMENTS STOP

HAVE A GOOD SATURDAY STOP

Long Winters

I don't know why I decided to write about this right now; I'm not really in the mood. Oh well. I'll do my best.

The Long Winters show was on Wednesday. Before their actual performance, Wednesday was the worst day of my life. It was so horrible for so many reasons. I don't even want to think about it.

I hated the opening bands just because they existed. But then I saw John Roderick (of previous blog entry fame and lead-singer-of-the-band fame) standing just a few feet away. At the last show he was also milling around the audience just checking things out. Laura and I were both fascinated both times by his tendency to do that. His nonchalant attitude is so interesting.


Long Winters-wise, the show was pretty good. I could not believe that it made me feel better. I honestly did not think it was going to. But I always forget how moving music is when you love it so intensely. They did my favorite song ("The Commander Thinks Aloud"). During that song I leaned against the wall and felt like I was kind of part of the song because I could actually feel it. The audience was really good. There were about 60 people, Laura estimated. Here is a crappy picture I took.



The most prominent person is John. The drummer is Nabil. The other two are not really visible.










Laura was excited that they played "Blue Diamonds." We both thought they sounded excellent. It was the first night of the tour, which is something. Last time, it was near the end of the tour and you could tell. Nothing will ever beat that time in Chicago, though.

The Long Winters are this weird thing that I'm not sure I understand. I have no idea how popular they are. Apparently not incredibly popular, since there were so few people there. But it's so skewed to me because a) they have 4 albums or something (not that that means anything, but you know), b) John is SO good, and c) I love them so much. I don't get the deal...I think in later paragraphs it might be even weirder to you guys as well.

Speaking of John himself, let me say a few more things about him. He's hysterical. He's constantly talking and having conversations and telling stories and jokes on stage. That makes a show sooooo much better. I keep telling people that their music is basically pretty normal when you listen to their records, but when you see them perform it's such a transformation. And a lot of that is his presence. Not only is he really hilarious, etc, but he's very, very good at playing the music. He looks comfortable, he's emotive, and he puts anything and everything into every single note. I sort of feel like watching him play a song is like feeling an entire life...being born, living through all kinds of experiences, and dying. It's heartbreaking and joyful and heartbreaking again and sort of makes you want to die. I don't really understand how a human being can do that and make it seem so effortless. Added to that is his extreme friendliness, etc. An extremely good man in all ways, it seems.

So keeping that all in mind, here's the next part of my story. Last night I was trying to figure out some way I could post a note on their myspace page or something saying "great show" or whatever. I went to their website, thelongwinters.com and viewed a strange thing. If you go to the site, you will see what I mean. At the bottom of the screen is a mailto link with the name "John Roderick." I saw it and was like "what the hell?" Because what mildly popular indie rock band has their lead singer's name/email linked to on every page? What kind of site has a mailto link these days anyway? (That's beside the point).

Curiosity got the best of me and I had to try it out. I wrote just a few things - that I couldn't believe this email address was listed in this way, what shows I'd been to, how I enjoyed them, and how I think he's incredible. And I wrote have fun in Madison, since they were there Thursday.

GUESS WHO REPLIED WITHIN AN HOUR?

John. John replied. From his personal Gmail address. What the fuck? I think I flipped inside out. I was so wired that I went to the exercise room and worked the shit out of the elliptical. I have never "run" that hard (I say that in quotes because it isn't really running in the technical sense. What do I say? I was ellipticizing? Side note: I like making up words that end with -cize or -cise).

Anyway, he said thanks for the kind words, and said a little about the shows I mentioned. I think it is impossible for him to talk without being witty. In that sense he's the complete opposite of me. Then he said "we'll talk soon." So that drove me into a Tunnel Of Figuring Out How To Reply. I have a start right now. The funny thing is, I sense that he'll be delighted with absolutely any response. In that way he kind of reminds me of Toby. Just happy to be alive and delighted with everything. What a cool way to see the world.

So I was just so excited to have contact with him, because it's so energizing to commiserate with a person who is so, so positive. Also, as is evidenced above, I love him. So that's another thing. And, as I joked with a few people, he's friends with Ben Gibbard, so I now have 1 degree of separation from Ben. HEE HEE! :D I was toying with the idea of mentioning Ben in my reply, to see what, if any, response I received. The jury is still out on that. It's a cheap shot, I know, and I don't really care if I do it or not, but it's the kind of thing I sort of itch to try (sort of like the email in the first place).

That's kind of the reason I'm more confused than ever about this band. How the hell did this all happen? It just is so weird to me. I would never, ever be able to randomly email, let's mention again, Ben Gibbard, and if somehow I did, I don't think he'd ever reply like that. The whole thing is like...a joke of some sort. Maybe it is just an indication of how they want their band to be. I get the impression that they do want to be really accessible and could care less about being "famous." Who knows...

Anyway, it's been a killer week emotion-wise. I'm glad it's over. Later!

Hee Hee

[NOTE: MY THING WAS DELETED DUE TO MY STUPIDITY]

I don't know if I'm happy or not that this is exactly what I'm like, with the outfit and the bag and the cubicles. (That office is way nicer than mine) ...but why does it look like I'm holding a cigarette? Making one of these things really makes you realize how utterly predictable you are...well, hopefully I'm not the only one. I mean, I wear basically the same outfit every day and it's pretty much that outfit. And you can't see it, but I put giant hoop earrings on this person. And gave her/me a bag. How depressing. Oh well. GOD DAMN I HAVE TO GO TO BED

Thanks to Lelani for the idea.

Minneapolis

Here is the view from L&M's balcony. Isn't it gorgeous??! The rightish area is downtown Mpls and I-94 is that road. If you click on the picture it gets bigger.

God I'm shot. I have some cool stuff to write about but right now I'm absolutely shot.

Blog

I need to write more in this thing. I plan to write something about Arcade Fire and Annuals. Hopefully I will write some stuff in upcoming weeks about the many shows Laura and I are going to.

- Long Winters @ 400 bar
- Bright Eyes @ State
- Snow Patrol, OK Go, and Silversun Pickups @ Northrop
- Ben Gibbard @ First Ave
- Andrew Bird @ First Ave
- Amiina @ Varsity (my first time there. should be fun)
- Arcade Fire (just me and tom) in Philadelphia

I wanted to see Sondre Lerche at 7th St. entry, but it is on a day I am in Madison. Oh well. Hopefully Annuals schedule a make-up date for Minneapolis. That would be cool. The one they were going to do was at the 400 bar.

I am so excited about all these shows. As I have mentioned before, I never feel more happy and comfortable than when I'm at a show. I LOVE them. Any of them.

Battlestar Galactica tonight is extremely boring. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

lookit how pretty

'tis a shirt of a band. this is pretty much the best band shirt ever, in my opinion. look at that logo, it's so pretty. and the colors. etc. i like this band a lot, as some people probably have heard way too friggin' much lately. they were s'posed to be in minneapolis recently but had to cancel because of all the snow. it was that one thursday where we got like 95 feet of snow. later.

Promotion

I got an actual promotion this time (not a faux one) and a raise. WOOHOO. It's a job I'm not sure I want, but after a lot of thinking I came to the realization that I need to move forward in my "career" and try new things. I realized I really hit a wall in the past month or so in my job and I desperately need to do something different. So I'm glad it worked out well.

 

Joel is really unhappy with the situation. His reaction (as well as Peter's) was a big part of my initial hesitancy. He already is pretty hostile towards me since I mentioned it this morning, and it's just going to get worse. But, I decided that I can't let that be the one thing that holds me back.

 

They tell me that this position will really help me excel and is a step up to bigger and better things. I'm not sure I can see that at the moment, but I am hoping they are right.

 

It's not the initial promotion I mentioned in another blog posting. I really wanted that one, but they gave it to the girl that started at the same time as me, Christi. I think that there are several reasons for that, and I am ok with the decision (though I was initially upset). Now that I'm looking back on it, it was the type of thing where these two jobs were created with specific people in mind. Luckily, I was one of those people. I've been in situations before where I was not, and it sucked. So, I am happy they value me.

 

I think it'll turn out ok and will ultimately turn me into a stronger person.

2 things that people won't care about, especially if their names are Tom

1. I was cruisin' around in my car earlier and heard a new Arcade Fire song on the radio. Their album came out yesterday. I pre-ordered it, but it hasn't come yet. Anyway, it made me so happy I almost cried.

 

2. Bright Eyes had an EP come out yesterday too. I plan to download/record/listen tonight. I'm not sure yet if/when I'll buy that. Regarding his shows: he is playing in Mpls on April 25 (a Wednesday). I am getting tickets this Saturday. Whosoever wants to go with me should let me know before then, because I ain't about to let the show sell out. I let the Arcade Fire show sell out and that was an ordeal I don't want to repeat. Not saying this one WILL...but I don't want to take that chance. So that is that.

Wow.

I'm looking over my stuff for taxes, and the stuff in my 401(k) plan increased almost exactly ten times since this day last year. I'm impressed and surprised. Pleasantly. :)

Radio Girl

Can you believe it? I now have an office-mate (she started last week) who plays the radio, on regular speakers, just loud enough for me to hear crap in the background, AND she leaves it on all day. She was just out of the office for about 3 hours. It was on the entire time.

 

She asked me if it bothered me. What am I supposed to say to that? It makes the whole situation worse, because I feel uncomfortable saying "Yes, it bothers me," and because she asked, that means she was being polite and did her duty. It sucks.

 

If any of you ever get office jobs, just don't play the radio. Just don't do it. There is someone that isn't going to like it and it's going to make someone's day hellish. I'd be having a fine day, but I can't deal with background noise like that. Especially because it's not something I'd listen to.

 

Beyond that, aforementioned lady pisses me off in other regards. Whatever. I'm over trying to like her. I gave it a week.

Photo taken with my phone at 3 pm today

I am annoyed at a lot of different things right now

But one thing that I am going to complain about is people at work razzing me about where I live.

 

Point 1: Yes, I know I have a short drive. Quit throwing it in my face. Jesus. Literally every single person asked me today "How was your drive today? HA HA HA" because it's bad weather. Well, my drive actually sucked, because the weather was that bad. Plus, whatever, just leave me alone. It gets old. Joel is the worst. It's like I'm not allowed to participate in discussions about traffic because I don't have to drive in traffic during my daily commute to work. Every time a traffic concern arises in office conversation, Joel goes "you wouldn't know" etc etc etc. Ok...

 

Point 2: Lately, when I mention where I live, people go, "Wow, I'd live there, but it's too expensive." Ugh. We all fully know that we make the same wage, so it's like saying "you're wasting money" or something. Yes, it's not my ideal rate to spend for rent (that would be $0), but rent is rent, and I really like my apartment. I fully expect to pay what I pay for it because it's nice. One guy went out of his way to mention all the bad things he'd heard about it.

 

Relatedly, one time a few people decided to gang up on me because they claim I like to live too nice of a lifestyle. Where the fuck did that come from? No, I don't live in a box. As far as I know, I live a similar lifestyle to others I know. That actually really pissed me off. I'm not Paris Hilton here. I make all my own money and manage all my own bills and everything, and I'm just fine.

Ow

For some reason yesterday's and today's exercising gave me a huge-ass side ache. I haven't had that since like high school. I wonder if it's dehydration.

jesus christ

i am so angry right now i can't even fucking see straight.

Man.

work kind of blew up today.

 

1. there is a promotion that i feel like i should apply for. i'm sort of nervous about it, though. because i am self-conscious, i was waiting to see if anyone would go "hey elizabeth, you should apply for this." one person did. i don't know that that convinces me.

2. one of the managers (the one who is extremely spiteful and vindictive) did 2 things today that really pissed me and a lot of other people off. more on that later.

3. i am acting manager for the next 9 days and i already am up to my eyeballs. she hasn't even left yet!!

wow

i am really enjoying the south beach thing. i think i've lost 10 or 15 pounds already in about a month. i feel good. y'all know how much i don't like discussing this, so that's probably all i'll say for now. toodles.

stuff

i went grocery shopping today and wore some of my new stuff. and even though it was just grocery shopping, for the first time in a long time i really felt pretty. i think it may have been the lipstick. here is the color. it's sephora brand. i hope the blog doesn't block the image.



i like that feeling. i don't get it very often. (this is not a veiled thing for compliments, by the way).

all's well that ends well

my mom and meredith visited today and we did some stuff for my birthday. i was glad my mom decided to remember it. we went to the mall of america. i got some new jeans and a couple of shirts i love. and some lipstick. then we went to the cheesecake factory. i wore my green shoes today and got 100 compliments on them. later.

Damn

Damn Ben Gibbard for having a girlfriend.

I have reached a new level of frustration.

So, this weekend I went to Rochester, partially to celebrate my birthday.

See, I don't really care what anyone does for my birthday. I am serious when I say that. If you've known me for any amount of time, you'd know this to be true. However, if there is one person you'd really like to remember, or at least acknowledge, your birthday, it would be your mom.

I believe my mom is harboring a grudge against me, which is causing her to ignore my birthday. this is because of a few reasons. 1) I didn't do anything for hers, because on that day I had a major nervous breakdown. I missed work for almost a week, etc. etc. It's not that I'm trying to make excuses, because I was planning to make it up. But that was why. 2) I probably didn't thank her enough or whatever for helping me through the aforementioned nervous breakdown. She gets weird about things like that.

So, we got together at my grandparents' house specifically for my birthday and there was no mention of it from her in any way. It REALLY hurt me. And hey, maybe I'm overreacting. And maybe I'm a bad child because I didn't acknowledge her birthday, or that she helped me, and she's just getting me back. I don't know. But if that's true, I don't know that it's necessarily fair.

At any rate, I know how her mind works and I'm sure that is basically what happened.

P.S. She brought presents to my grandparents and not me. That was cool.

sunsilk

despite my previous declaration of choosing a life shampoo, i've already moved on. i got sunsilk (even though the ads make me want to claw my ears off). i REALLY like it. you know, i think that changing often is good. i always have thought that. most kinds "quit working" by the time you get to the end of the bottle. so i'm altering my life shampoo to "changing all the time".

oh boy

i feel really sick today.

guhhh

it might be a type of flu. my skin hurts.

man, the change at work from yesterday to today was insane. i spent at least 6 hours out of the 8 helping co-workers. it was ridiculous. it's ok in a way. but i just don't like it when they take advantage of me and use me as a quick answer instead of figuring shit out for themselves. one guy in particular does that a lot. i don't like that. he sends me emails all the time which are like this:

Elizabeth,

Can you help with these?

Thanks.

[lists project]
[lists project]
[lists project]
[lists project]
[lists project]
[lists project]

NO. NO I CAN'T.

Yesterday ipod guy went on a rampage about our new organization. It got slightly tiring. Well, today we had a meeting about this project that we're doing, and the project isn't going the way any of us want. Ipod guy went ballistic. In the past few days I've been absolutely driven into the ground, because I am the person that sits with him, so I have to listen to him rant and rave all friggin' day long. Man. I didn't mind it before, but two whole days of worse-than-usual ranting are a little much. Seriously, dude, calm down a little. He always jokes about getting fired because of his bad attitude, but I think that he really is getting dangerously close. Yesterday he wrote "You are on my shit list" on the whiteboard of a coworker he was mad at. That's unprofessional and unacceptable. I don't think a manager knows about it, but if they did, he would be gone.

I need to go force myself to exercise.

oh boy

i have the beginnings of a wonderful cold. i'm so excited! i feel great this morning.

"Promotion"

I got a "promotion" today. That basically means that now I am called the "lead" of my team. I don't know if that really means anything. It especially doesn't mean that I get a raise. I just got a raise, incidentally, for being here a year (plus 4 months) and I got back pay, too. Also, I got taken off the team I don't like, PLUS my boss moved with me (the reason I didn't demand to move before). Everything really gelled at once. :)

Chili and other recipes

I think my new favorite food (think chicken tenders, cheese and summer sausage, bagels, etc) is chili. I made some last night and man, it was excellent. And so satisfying. I think I'll make huge batches and eat it for every meal for a while. I am in love with kidney beans. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

I made some eggplant pizzas yesterday. I think that they could be good with a little tweaking. Eggplant is a little too sweet for that...I wish it was more tasteless, like a potato. I wonder if I could use another vegetable for the same thing. Probably rutabaga would work, but honestly I don't think those taste much different.

Made some BBQ chicken: did not turn out well. That was my fault.

Raspberry chicken (made with raspberry balsamic vinegar): ok, but needed to be marinated more. It basically tasted like baked chicken with nothing on it.

Tofu: I baked that and it wasn't bad. I wouldn't eat it every day, but in a pinch I guess it's fine.

Argentina

Did anyone ever make a connection between Argentina and "argent," the Latin word for silver? What about "Rio de la Plata" -- "River of Silver" -- located in Argentina?

Dammit. Wikipedia's almost first sentence is:
"Argentina" derives from the Latin argentum (silver).

Well, I'm still damn proud that I came up with all of that completely on my own.

Blast From The Past

For a change

I decided I am going to try the South Beach Diet for a change. I'm kind of excited about it.

This weekend

This weekend I went to Philadelphia. It was a pretty good trip.

So

Some of you may be wondering what I've been doing lately, and the answer is not a fuckin' thing.