I knew it!

Candy, thanks for the comment. I shall reply later. I'll say this though: I knew Dan and I were two peas in a pod. Birds of a feather. Alike.

 

I would now like to demonstrate some funny copywriting I came across today. This reminds me of the timeless error-ridden paper Emily and I read in H.S. I've been working on the Coldwell Banker store for a while now, so this is stuff from that. I could not believe it.

 

These are all newspaper ads. The first one is supposed to be a testimonial (from who, I don't know...I strongly suspect it's just made up). The second is targeting people who want to sell and the third is for people who want to buy.

 

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As authorities in the resort property market and with their vast resources, COLDWELL BANKER Specialists were able to assist us in realizing that elusive vision.

 

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It's your time now. A world of endless possibilities, and the time to explore them all, awaits. And the first step in exercising this exciting new freedom may start with the sale of your home.

 

With years of experience, only the Coldwell Banker network has the knowledge and insight to ensure your home sells quickly, and the best possible price. Plus a standard of service that guarantees a stress-free experience from open house to closing—and gets you where you really want to be, faster.

 

So the first day of the best of your life, can start even sooner.

 

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Wherever you want to be, near whatever is important to you, the Coldwell Banker network is already there. Closer to family, culture or entertainment. From gated communities, to urban living, to vacation homes you never have to leave. In Sunbelt states, to mountain air, and everywhere in between. With our years of experience and reputation, we can best guide you to that perfect place.

 

The place where the first day of the best of your life, begins.

 

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That last one...what the hell? The last sentence is my favorite. "The place where the first day of the best of your life, begins." Huuuhhhh? I also love how in the big paragraph it says "in Sunbelt states, to mountain air, and everywhere in between." An attempt to be poetic...gone very, very wrong.

 

So I brought this to the attention of a few people...damned if I'm going to be an English major and not fix these horrible things. I said that it's going to look unprofessional if the text stays like this. And it will. Even the headlines have grammar mistakes. It's horrible! Unfortunately, the client is the one who wrote it and everyone is hesitant about changing the text. Grr...well, don't blame me when people run the ads and get complaints. It sounds like a bad translation from another language. I'm hoping that we'll get the ok to fix it, because it's so bad that we can't really overlook it.